Fast-food workers rallied in Union Square yesterday, demanding a living wage. Meanwhile courtroom delays are as bad as ever. The solution is obvious: have prosecutors and fast-food workers trade places (and salaries). This will be a step towards a future of humane, cage-free conditions for humans and chickens alike.
Scene: Burger District Attorney (Home of the Whopper).
Customer: Miss, miss, I’ve been waiting for my order all morning! I paid for three Big Fats, a milkshake and guilty fries.
ADA: The People aren’t ready. Come back in 3 months.
Customer: But I put in my order 5 months ago! You’re supposed to execute all orders within 90 days!
DA: Yes, but the time spent preparing the order doesn’t count. We have to slaughter the cow, nuke the potatoes, genetically modify our organisms -
Customer: I’ll raise Taco Hell!
Judge Pickles: (sourly) What’s the problem?
Customer: A burger delayed is a burger denied!
Judge Pickles: Have it your way. Give her a free Happy Plea. And now everybody leave. We close at 1:00.
Fast food workers singing in Union Square
“Fast food work is no longer an after-school job for kids or pocket change for seniors.”
“Can’t survive on $7.25″
“This is what Justice looks like.”
“Work does not set us free!”
What would Krishna say?
Fast Food Forward