Judge Wool for Court of Appeals

The NY Court of Appeals makes their judges retire at 70, just when they’re beginning to get the hang of things. They’re now looking to fill the slot about to be vacated by septuagenarian Carmen Ciparick. According to the NY Law Journal, a “huge number” of applications have been downloaded, at least one of which was by Judge Wool.  Aside from the usual irrelevant questions about where you went to law school and what legal writing have you done, the application requires a 500-word essay on what makes you think you should be a Court of Appeals judge.  Here are some excerpts from the huge number of essays that have been submitted.

 As a judge of the Court of Appeals, I’d  move the outfit to Brooklyn. Albany in wintertime is for the birds.

 I (with the assistance of the summer intern) have been churning out lengthy decisions setting forth my views on all matters criminal for YEARS and nobody ever cites them! I know, because I check Westlaw first thing every morning. Putting me on the Court of Appeals would cure this enormity.

  I am very interested in being a judge on the Court of Appeals.  I just graduated from law school where I got really good grades in Moot Court.

 I feel that my 25 years of law practice specializing in real estate closings would make me a tremendous asset to the Court of Appeals.

  Having a judge from my famous law firm would greatly benefit the Court. We can discuss how much later.

 To paraphrase that great jurist Groucho Marx: I wouldn’t want to be on a Court that has people like me on it.

About Appellate Squawk

A satirical blog for criminal defense lawyers and their friends who won't give up without a squawk.
This entry was posted in Criminal Defense Appeals, Law & Parody and tagged , . Bookmark the permalink.

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