In response to decades of complaints that the Fourth Amendment is a hazardous eyesore that lowers property values, hinders the nation’s competitiveness in the global market and endangers little children, a coalition of NY courts and law enforcement groups announced its final demolition today.
“I’ve always said cops should be allowed to do their jobs without interference from the courts,” said Judge Smith of the Court of Appeals, quoting his recent dissent in People v. Garcia.
Police Commissioner Pogo said he “couldn’t agree more,” adding that “cops are the best judges of what their job is.”
Mayor Bedbug greeted the move warmly. “The state was wasting billions of dollars in needless litigation over whether this or that search or seizure was reasonable,” he told a cheering audience at the High School of Getting and Spending. “Obviously, every search and seizure is reasonable if conducted by the NYPD. If it weren’t reasonable, they wouldn’t be doing it.”
He announced plans underway to replace the abandoned Fourth Amendment with more bicycle paths and secure treatment centers for soft drink addicts.
But a spokeswoman from the NY Landmark Society expressed opposition to the demolition, calling for a Fourth Amendment museum, or at least a commemorative plaque.