Courts are shocked, shocked, to learn of false confessions


A recent study by the Governor’s Task Force on Justice and Chopped Liver concluded that if you took all the decisions where courts twisted themselves into pretzels to uphold the voluntariness of confessions elicited by police ruses and deceptions and made them into paper mache we would have 3 trillion planets the size of Earth.

We don’t get it. How is the waiver of the constitutional right against self-incrimination voluntary if it’s induced by lies and false promises by the State?  What if everybody did that?

Scene: Judge Blow’s courtroom

Judge: (To defendant)  Now that you’ve pled guilty, I sentence you to life in prison.

Defense counsel: But Judge, you said he’d get a drug treatment program!

Judge: OK, so I lied.  It was the only way I could get a guilty plea out of him.

Defense counsel: But it’s not voluntary if he was tricked into it!

Judge: Nonsense.  My little ruse wasn’t so fundamentally unfair as to offend due process.  Plus, it wouldn’t make an innocent person plead guilty.

Defendant: Why not?

Judge: Because I said so. That’s life without parole, by the way.


About Appellate Squawk

A satirical blog for criminal defense lawyers and their friends who won't give up without a squawk.
This entry was posted in Criminal law, False confessions, Law & Parody and tagged , , . Bookmark the permalink.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.