The naughty/nice hearings

Squawk’s Traditional Christmas Post

Appellate Squawk

Scene: The Santa Clause Courtroom, Santa, J. presiding. For the defense: Dasher, Dancer, Prancer, Vixen. For the prosecution: Comet, Cupid, Donner, Blixen.

Clerk: Number 2, 457, 278,970 on the calendar, Stinky K. 

Santa: This is a determination as to whether Stinky K. has been naughty or nice this year.  In my unreviewable discretion, I say any child with a moniker like that is obviously naughty. After all, I see her when she’s sleeping, I know when she’s awake.

Dasher: Santa, we object to these hearings being held without notice to the defendants.

Santa: Every naughty/nice defendant has the opportunity to be heard at Macy’s. If Stinky chose to absent herself from the proceedings, she can’t be heard to complain now.

Dancer: But they don’t have a Macy’s in the Lesser Antilles.

Santa: Stop wasting my time, counsel, I’ve made this list and checked it twice.

Prancer: But Stinky successfully completed…

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About Appellate Squawk

A satirical blog for criminal defense lawyers and their friends who won't give up without a squawk.
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