Squawk’s Traditional Christmas Post
Scene: The Santa Clause Courtroom, Santa, J. presiding. For the defense: Dasher, Dancer, Prancer, Vixen. For the prosecution: Comet, Cupid, Donner, Blixen.
Clerk: Number 2, 457, 278,970 on the calendar, Stinky K.
Santa: This is a determination as to whether Stinky K. has been naughty or nice this year. In my unreviewable discretion, I say any child with a moniker like that is obviously naughty. After all, I see her when she’s sleeping, I know when she’s awake.
Dasher: Santa, we object to these hearings being held without notice to the defendants.
Santa: Every naughty/nice defendant has the opportunity to be heard at Macy’s. If Stinky chose to absent herself from the proceedings, she can’t be heard to complain now.
Dancer: But they don’t have a Macy’s in the Lesser Antilles.
Santa: Stop wasting my time, counsel, I’ve made this list and checked it twice.
Prancer: But Stinky successfully completed…
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