The First Department takes a stand

Sedan chair

It’s a well known fact that Appellate Division judges are carried to court in sedan chairs.  So it’s not surprising that the First Department threw a fit at having the courthouse entrance cluttered up with a Citibank bike station, the NY Post reports.

citibank bikes

According to the Post, the First Department put down its rubber stamps long enough to thunder, “In this particular debate, the court is on the side of good, truth and justice. This is about desecration!”  The Post is shocked, shocked that the judges had only to make a few phone calls to fend off the Blue Bike Blight from their territory, when community groups, churchgoers and even the Plaza Hotel have had no such luck.

Let’s face it, Citibank bikes are just another weapon in the ongoing war on pedestrians.  As Winston Churchill said, we fight them in the streets, we fight them in the parks, we fight them on the sidewalks.  Nuts to their sustainable-transport propaganda.  None of those people plowing you down on Broadway would otherwise be driving a car.

But we’re tickled pink that the court has discovered good, truth and justice.  We’ll remind them next time we meet.

Hat tip to Alex.

About Appellate Squawk

A satirical blog for criminal defense lawyers and their friends who won't give up without a squawk.
This entry was posted in Humor, Law & Parody and tagged , , . Bookmark the permalink.

2 Responses to The First Department takes a stand

  1. Alex Bunin says:

    Yes, a bicycle is a desecration, but a car is a sacrament. Love that logic.


  2. Pingback: Bang ‘em For The Dersh | Simple Justice

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