The Appellate Division vs. bicycles

The Appellate Division “threw a tantrum,”  the NY Post reports, when the City had the effrontery to put a bike station in front of the Manhattan courthouse, depriving Presiding Justice Luis Gonzalez of his self-appointed parking space.

“In this particular debate, the court is on the side of good, truth and justice. This is about desecration!”  a court spokesman thundered.

Phone calls were made to the highest levels. The bike station was removed.

Protests from other communities about the Blue Blight being foisted on them went unheeded. Not even the Plaza Hotel could convince the City that good, truth and justice required putting the bikes somewhere else.

Let’s face it, bikes are just another weapon in the ongoing war on pedestrians.  As Winston Churchill said, we fight them in the streets, we fight them in the parks, we fight them on the sidewalks.  Nuts to their sustainable-transport propaganda.  None of those people plowing you down on Broadway would otherwise be driving a car.

But we’re glad to hear the First Department cares so deeply about good, truth and justice.  We’ll remind them at the next oral argument.

Hat tip to Alex.

About Appellate Squawk

A satirical blog for criminal defense lawyers and their friends who won't give up without a squawk.
This entry was posted in Humor, Law & Parody and tagged , , . Bookmark the permalink.

2 Responses to The Appellate Division vs. bicycles

  1. Alex Bunin says:

    Yes, a bicycle is a desecration, but a car is a sacrament. Love that logic.

    Like

  2. Pingback: Bang ‘em For The Dersh | Simple Justice

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