The revolt of the court reporters


Court reportersWhether it’s an earthshaking Supreme Court argument or an insignificant 30-second calendar call,  a court proceeding is as a tree falling in an empty forest unless there’s a court reporter writing it down.  And if the reporter doesn’t like the cut of your jib,  she’ll produce transcripts doing horrible things to your name and omitting little words like “not,” putting you on record as saying things like, “Your Honor, my client does deserve the maximum sentence.”

Any doubt that the entire legal system is completely at the mercy of court reporters has been laid to rest by a Manhattan scribe who according to the NY Post  is accused of typing over and over, “I hate my job, I hate my job,” and hitting random keys instead of providing verbatim transcriptions of the Shakespearean wit and wisdom of the trial proceedings.

Despite being arrested and tortured by the DA’s Office, this Dadaist rebel has held firm.  “I did my job 100 percent,” he told the Post.

Can the Revolution be far behind?

A big-hearted judge came to the court reporter’s defense. “He was correctly transcribing what I said,” he told a group of court reporters. “I do hate my job. And I frequently talk in gibberish.”


About Appellate Squawk

A satirical blog for criminal defense lawyers and their friends who won't give up without a squawk.
This entry was posted in Criminal law, Humor, Law & Parody, Satirical cartoons and tagged , , . Bookmark the permalink.

1 Response to The revolt of the court reporters

  1. Alex Bunin says:

    And if the clerk doesn’t like you they misplace your pleadings, and if the bailiff does not like you they misplace your client … and so on.


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