Public defenders: poor but happy

Public defenders and Legal Aid attorneys are happier than fancy white-shoe law firm types,  reports the NY Times.  According to a recent study,  overpaid bigfirm lawyers are depraved on account of they’re deprived of  “feelings of competence, autonomy or connection to others, ” not like us poor-but-happy folks in polyester suits.

Scene: Typical public defender office.  Plaster falls from the ceiling every time someone walks in the door.  Single window looking onto a brick wall is propped up with “Fisch on Evidence.” Mice loiter about in a relaxed manner.  Everyone radiates feelings of competence, autonomy or connection to others. 

Lawyers (singing): Hi ho! Hi ho! It’s off to court we go! We wait wait wait for our case to be called, we wait the whole day through. It ain’t no trick to get rich quick, with a client we didn’t pick. In a court! In a court! In front of a judge in a court!

Doc: (singing) If you want to be happy for the rest of your life, never get caught with a switchblade knife! So from my personal point of view, get a public defender to represent you.

All: (singing) Happy talky talky happy talk! Talk about things you’d like the court to do. You got to have a case. If you don’t have a case, what’s your client gonna do?

Happy:  Say,  Dopey,  I hear your client got life without parole on a littering charge.

Dopey: (singing) I feel competent! Oh so competent!

Grumpy:  Couldn’t afford an expert for a psychiatric exam.  So (singing) I did it MY way!

All:  (singing) That’s the sound of the public defenders, workin’ on the chain gang. All day long we go to court, ’til the sun goes down. All day long we see the judge wearin’, wearin’ a frown. And sayin’ Huh! Ha! Huh! Ha! Huh! Ha! (fade out).