Thank you for riding with the criminal justice system

The NYC Transit Authority is bedeviling its riders with yet another fussy campaign to improve our morals and posture. This one features a race of red, green and grey globe-headed amputees being exhorted, “Dude, stop the spread” or, “Offer your seat to a pregnant person” (not to a pregnant frog?)

    Manspread Offer your seat to a pregnant person

 or, “Riding on the outside of the subway is dangerous” (Dude, that’s the point!).    

 Riding outside subway2

As if subway riders weren’t irritable enough, the MTA fans the flames with excited statistics about last year’s trash fires, or “a crowded subway is no excuse for unwanted sexual behavior.”

Unwanted sexual behavior

This has inspired us to launch our own campaign which we expect to be at least as effective:

Inflamed jury Inflammatory summations caused 273 wrongful convictions last year! Always take your trash with you or deposit it in trash receptacles.

Prosecutor hiding Brady

If you see exculpatory evidence, do not keep it to yourself!  Tell a defense attorney.

Judge shouting

A crowded docket is no excuse for unwanted judicial behavior.

Judge reading

Read the motions and briefs. Competence begins with you!

About Appellate Squawk

A satirical blog for criminal defense lawyers and their friends who won't give up without a squawk.
This entry was posted in Criminal law, Humor, Law & Parody, Satirical cartoons and tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

6 Responses to Thank you for riding with the criminal justice system

  1. Rendall says:

    Very funny!

    “The NYC Transit Authority is bedeviling its riders with yet another fussy campaign to improve our morals and posture.” Huh! Your unappreciative tone suggests to me that either you don’t ride the subway regularly and find these annoyances distant and amusing concepts, or that you not only hate to offer your seat to pregnant women, but neither also the empty seats adjacent to yours!

  2. Alex Bunin says:

    Look both ways for collateral consequences.

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