The NYC Transit Authority is bedeviling its riders with yet another fussy campaign to improve our morals and posture. This one features a race of red, green and grey globe-headed amputees being exhorted, “Dude, stop the spread” or, “Offer your seat to a pregnant person” (but not to a pregnant frog?)
or, “Riding on the outside of the subway is dangerous” (Dude, that’s the point!).
Pole dancing is also forbidden.
As if subway riders weren’t irritable enough, the MTA fans the flames with excited statistics about last year’s trash fires, or “a crowded subway is no excuse for unwanted sexual behavior.”
This has inspired us to launch our own campaign which we expect to be at least as effective:
If you see exculpatory evidence, do not keep it to yourself! Tell a defense attorney.
A crowded docket is no excuse for unwanted judicial behavior.
Read the motions and briefs. Competence begins with you!