The NYC Transit Authority is bedeviling its riders with yet another fussy campaign to improve our morals and posture. This one features a race of red, green and grey globe-headed amputees being exhorted, “Dude, stop the spread” or, “Offer your seat to a pregnant person” (but not to a pregnant frog?)
or, “Riding on the outside of the subway is dangerous” (Dude, that’s the point!).
Pole dancing is also forbidden.
As if subway riders weren’t irritable enough, the MTA fans the flames with excited statistics about last year’s trash fires, or “a crowded subway is no excuse for unwanted sexual behavior.”
This has inspired us to launch our own campaign which we expect to be at least as effective:
Inflammatory summations caused 273 wrongful convictions last year! Always take your trash with you or deposit it in trash receptacles.
If you see exculpatory evidence, do not keep it to yourself! Tell a defense attorney.
A crowded docket is no excuse for unwanted judicial behavior.
Read the motions and briefs. Competence begins with you!
Appellate Squawk 
Very funny!
“The NYC Transit Authority is bedeviling its riders with yet another fussy campaign to improve our morals and posture.” Huh! Your unappreciative tone suggests to me that either you don’t ride the subway regularly and find these annoyances distant and amusing concepts, or that you not only hate to offer your seat to pregnant women, but neither also the empty seats adjacent to yours!
LikeLike
That’s pregnant PERSONS.
LikeLike
Hey, Babar, how many seats do you take up?
LikeLike
I avoid the handicapped seats, because if the car gets crowded, every seat filled, and then a blind, pregnant spastic boards and no one stands up, I don’t have to give up my seat either!
LikeLike
Rendall, I have never caused anyone to change their avatar before. I feel powerful.
LikeLike
Look both ways for collateral consequences.
LikeLike