One of the great bulwarks of economic justice, at least for online shoppers, is the grassroots literature of customer reviews. A mixture of autobiography, advice and social protest, customer reviews are the expression of the Internet Age from all walks of life, from staid L.L .Bean commentators (“This versatile natural cotton T-shirt was the perfect choice when my husband and I had to swim ashore after our cruise ship sank”), to the picky TripAdvisor tourists, (“Beaches a disappointment. The wife and I didn’t expect so many land mines”), to the opposable-thumb loner, (“Instruction manual is confusing and doesn’t warn you that the bolsters explode unless you shepardize them first. Took hours to assemble, but finally got her to run by rewiring the cornpone”).
Now that every court has a website, there’s no excuse for not including customer reviews. The First Department, always at the forefront of innovation (someday they’ll discover real electronic filing), has initiated a pilot program. Here’s what you can read on their Home Page:
“Fabulous court, helpful, attentive judges. Ruled in our favor when we hadn’t even filed a brief. Would definitely go back.” – – Xerxes Vandal, NY District Attorney.
“I followed the instructions to the letter but the decision they sent me arrived months late, omitted crucial facts and mixed it up with another case. Their legal analysis didn’t fit at all. I sent it back for reargument, but they never responded.” – – A Legal Aide.
“Design is obsolete. All the nuts need adjusting.” – – Appellate Squawk.
“Greasing the wheels will help.” – – Influential White Shoe Lawyer.
I laughed. I cried. I moved for rehearing.