Keeping Calm at Rikers Island

New York City’s jail guards are highly offended at a poster displayed on the jailhouse walls exhorting them to “KEEP CALM AND REMEMBER EGOS AND UOF [Use Of Force] DON’T MIX.”

The sign went up in response to the federal monitor’s recent report that Rikers Island guards were excessively hitting and pepper-spraying detainees.  The notice continues:

“We are rolling out training and mentoring teams as well as refresher sessions at roll calls, Wonderful Wednesdays, forums and brown bag lunches on how to make sure if you have to use UOF, it’s a Quality UOF.”

 When it comes to being shellacked, only Quality UOF will do.

“This isn’t fucking Ford Motors!” groused the President of the Corrections Officers Benevolent Association, who’d evidently not attended Wonderful Wednesday.

P.S. From a Texas jail:

h/t Alex Bunin, Harris Co. Public Defender

About Appellate Squawk

A satirical blog for criminal defense lawyers and their friends who won't give up without a squawk.
This entry was posted in Law & Parody, Prisoners' rights and tagged , . Bookmark the permalink.

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