THE BEST OF APPELLATE SQUAWK 2010-2020

A satirical blog about law and other absurdities for criminal defense lawyers & friends

APPEALS WITH ATTITUDE

ideal oral argument
How oral argument should be.

What oral argument is really like. https://appellatesquawk.wordpress.com/2011/01/24/welcome-to-the-appellate-division/

“The Government is entirely correct.”

What’s the use of criminal appeals? https://appellatesquawk.wordpress.com/2019/03/02/justice-thomas-decries-courts-latest-defendant-always-wins-rule/

“Your question has nothing to do with this case, Judge.” https://appellatesquawk.wordpress.com/2019/12/21/your-question-has-nothing-to-do-with-this-case-judge/

Everything you’ve ever wanted to say in your brief but had sense enough not to https://appellatesquawk.wordpress.com/2018/10/13/everything-youve-ever-wanted-to-say-to-a-judge-but-had-sense-enough-not-to/

Squawk writing

How to describe judicial decisionmaking without being held in contempt https://appellatesquawk.wordpress.com/2017/03/05/how-to-describe-judicial-decisionmaking-without-being-held-in-contempt/

judges-knee
Judicial decisionmaking

We find no error “under the circumstances” https://appellatesquawk.wordpress.com/2016/04/24/we-find-no-error-under-the-circumstances/

Shell game
Step right up, folks! Who wants to guess where the error is? Nope, not under this circumstance! Ha, ha, you lose! Care to try again?

The NY Court of Appeals fiddles the facts. . . and gets its comeuppance. https://appellatesquawk.wordpress.com/2016/07/25/the-ny-court-of-appeals-gets-its-comeuppance/

NY Court of Appeals in 2016: Fahey, Abdus-Salaam, Pigott, DiFiore, Rivera, Stein, Garcia

“An imperious outpouring of insulting advice”: The Appellate Division doesn’t like to be told. https://appellatesquawk.wordpress.com/2011/01/28/an-imperious-outpouring-of-insulting-advice/

More insulting advice https://appellatesquawk.wordpress.com/2014/11/15/ten-ways-to-improve-the-first-department/

Rubber stamp

The appellate process explained https://appellatesquawk.wordpress.com/2013/02/17/the-appellate-process-explained/

Decision of the Day https://appellatesquawk.wordpress.com/2010/12/19/decision-of-the-day/

The Appellate Division vs. bicycles https://appellatesquawk.wordpress.com/2014/03/17/the-first-department-takes-a-stand/

The Appellate Advocacy board game: available at the Appellate Division gift shop. https://appellatesquawk.wordpress.com/2014/08/29/the-appellate-advocacy-board-game/

Appellate process cartoon

The winning appeal: good writing has nothing to do with it. https://appellatesquawk.wordpress.com/2014/10/14/the-winning-brief-good-writing-has-nothing-to-do-with-it/

Reverse for bad writing
Never happen.

Secrets of appellate advocacy https://appellatesquawk.wordpress.com/2013/06/16/secrets-of-appellate-advocacy/

Decision of the Day: Suppression of Boa Constrictor Denied https://appellatesquawk.wordpress.com/2010/12/20/decision-of-the-day-boa-constrictor-not-rosario/

Boa constrictor

How is an appeal like a tree falling in an empty forest? https://appellatesquawk.wordpress.com/2018/08/08/how-to-get-judges-to-read-your-brief/

Affirmance goggles

THE LAW IN ITS MAJESTY

Welcome aboard the criminal justice system https://appellatesquawk.wordpress.com/2011/02/05/welcome-aboard-the-criminal-justice-system/

There is no order.

Thank you for riding with the criminal justice system https://appellatesquawk.wordpress.com/2015/06/06/thank-you-for-riding-with-the-criminal-justice-system/

Unwanted sexual behavior

The New Worker Judges https://appellatesquawk.wordpress.com/2011/01/19/the-new-worker-judges/

On Top of Old Bailey: Part I https://appellatesquawk.wordpress.com/2011/01/17/on-top-of-old-bailey-part-one/

On Top of Old Bailey: Part II https://appellatesquawk.wordpress.com/2011/01/18/on-top-of-old-bailey-part-2

Public defenders: poor but happy https://appellatesquawk.wordpress.com/2015/05/17/the-high-price-of-making-money/

7 dwarfs
“Hi ho, hi ho, it’s off to court we go! We wait, wait, wait for our case to be called, we wait the whole day through. . .”

Advising your client to waive future ineffective assistance claims https://appellatesquawk.wordpress.com/2015/05/21/advising-your-client-to-waive-future-ineffective-assistance-claims/

Waiver IAC

What really happens in court https://appellatesquawk.wordpress.com/2019/10/10/what-really-happens-in-court-the-unvarnished-truth/

Bewildered Member

Appellate Squawk’s Institute of Continuing Legal Education https://appellatesquawk.wordpress.com/2018/02/11/appellate-squawks-radiant-institute-of-continuing-legal-education/

Improving relations between bench & bar

Guest Post: Exoneration after 25 years is great, but the courts should have got it right in the first place https://appellatesquawk.wordpress.com/2016/07/21/guest-post-exoneration-after-25-years-is-great-but-competent-appellate-review-at-the-time-would-have-been-better/

Andre Hatchett after being exonerated in Brooklyn. Barry Scheck of the Innocence Project is at left. Second from right is Seeme Saifee, staff attorney with the Innocence Project, and James Brochin of Paul, Weiss, Rifkind, Wharton & Garrison
Andre Hatchett is declared exonerated as Innocence Project attorney Barry Scheck looks on.

Is it a crime to sleep it off in your car? https://appellatesquawk.wordpress.com/2019/10/22/is-it-a-crime-to-sleep-it-off-in-your-car/

Let’s keep dogs off the witness stand https://appellatesquawk.wordpress.com/2019/12/06/lets-keep-dogs-off-the-witness-stand/

Dog in ctrm

Is a parrot’s statement testimonial? https://appellatesquawk.wordpress.com/2016/06/28/is-a-parrots-statement-testimonial/

Grey parrot testifying

Discovery reform arrives with the New Year! https://appellatesquawk.wordpress.com/2019/12/31/head-for-the-hills-discovery-reform-arrives-with-the-new-year/

New Year 2020 small

“Harmless error” = “good enough for government work.” https://appellatesquawk.wordpress.com/2011/11/05/harmless-error-what-if-everybody-did-that/

Why do cops lie? Because judges believe them. https://appellatesquawk.wordpress.com/2020/07/05/why-do-cops-lie-because-judges-believe-them/

testilying-1.jpeg (1432×1099)

The Case of the Interfering Judge https://appellatesquawk.wordpress.com/2018/09/22/queens-judges-say-the-darndest-things/

Official guide for children going to federal court (we didn’t make this up) https://appellatesquawk.wordpress.com/2013/11/14/im-going-to-federal-court-with-mark-julie-2/

Federal Court with Mark & Julie

Courts should take a tip from the Department of Agriculture https://appellatesquawk.wordpress.com/2018/07/01/courts-should-take-a-tip-from-the-dept-of-agriculture/

Ineffective assistance of counsel Aussie style https://appellatesquawk.wordpress.com/2018/12/22/ineffective-assistance-of-counsel-aussie-style/

OMG! What’s so reliable about “excited utterance”? https://appellatesquawk.wordpress.com/2018/05/14/omg-whats-so-reliable-about-excited-utterance/

Is it legal to threaten to behead the chief court clerk of Brooklyn? https://appellatesquawk.wordpress.com/2019/04/13/is-it-legal-to-threaten-to-behead-the-chief-clerk-of-the-court/

Appearing in court isn’t supposed to be fun. https://appellatesquawk.wordpress.com/2017/12/22/appearing-in-court-isnt-supposed-to-be-fun/

Guv to judges: want a raise? get to work on time. https://appellatesquawk.wordpress.com/2018/01/22/guv-to-judges-want-a-raise-get-to-work-on-time/

The final solution to bail reform: shoot the client https://appellatesquawk.wordpress.com/2018/03/18/the-ultimate-bail-reform-shoot-the-client/

Powerpoint for the defense https://appellatesquawk.wordpress.com/2017/05/06/powerpoint-for-the-defense/

An actual prosecution Powerpoint, apparently for the trial of a shoplifter of a can of oysters.

Wondering which is the right court for you? Check out these customer reviews.https://appellatesquawk.wordpress.com/2017/08/05/searching-for-the-right-court-for-your-appeal-view-these-521-customer-reviews/

“Give me a lawyer dawg.” https://appellatesquawk.wordpress.com/2017/11/01/give-me-a-lawyer-dawg/

“Thrusting counsel upon the accused against his considered wish.” https://appellatesquawk.wordpress.com/2018/04/08/thrusting-counsel-upon-the-accused-against-his-considered-wish/

Are lawyers therapeutically conterproductive? https://appellatesquawk.wordpress.com/2017/07/24/is-a-lawyer-a-significant-individual-court-says-nix/

Time for courts to put their money where their mouth is about eyewitness misidentification https://appellatesquawk.wordpress.com/2016/06/18/time-for-courts-to-put-their-money-where-their-mouth-is-about-eyewitness-misidentification/

Judges singing with caption

Guest post: proposed additions to the NY Penal Law https://appellatesquawk.wordpress.com/2016/05/18/guest-post-proposed-additions-to-the-ny-penal-code/

Study finds law too complex for robots https://appellatesquawk.wordpress.com/2016/01/10/can-lawyers-be-robots/

Data Star Trek
Data is baffled by the Confrontation Clause

The revolt of the court reporters https://appellatesquawk.wordpress.com/2014/04/04/the-revolt-of-the-court-reporters/

Court reporters

From back when you could go to jail for having a gravity knife: https://appellatesquawk.wordpress.com/2016/02/06/a-matter-of-gravity/

Cop demonstrating how knife flips open by mere gravity

Study shows correlation between snack breaks and judicial leniency https://appellatesquawk.wordpress.com/2011/04/15/the-way-to-a-courts-heart/

The court interpreter knows the witness? No problem. https://appellatesquawk.wordpress.com/2013/05/31/the-court-interpreter-knows-the-witness-no-problem/

“A fair trial, not a perfect trial” https://appellatesquawk.wordpress.com/2011/02/25/a-fair-trial-not-a-perfect-trial/

“He was entitled to a fair operation, not a perfect operation.”

Judges’ letters to the Judicial Ethics Committee https://appellatesquawk.wordpress.com/2012/07/21/dear-judicial-ethics-committee/ https://appellatesquawk.wordpress.com/2013/01/12/dear-judicial-ethics-committee-part-2/

THE TRANSCENDENT CONSTITUTION

Chris Rock on the 4th Amendment https://appellatesquawk.wordpress.com/2011/06/07/chris-rock-on-the-fourth-amendment/

Demolishing the 4th

The Hosannah Exception https://appellatesquawk.wordpress.com/2020/05/15/janitors-catholic-schoolteachers-and-the-hosanna-exception/

Justice Thomas endorses solitary confinement https://appellatesquawk.wordpress.com/2015/06/22/justice-thomas-endorses-solitary-confinement-its-roomier-than-a-coffin/

Justice Kavanaugh’s crickets https://appellatesquawk.wordpress.com/2018/09/30/judge-kavanaughs-crickets/

Justice Alito as a fly on the wall https://appellatesquawk.wordpress.com/2015/04/26/justice-alito-on-the-wall/

Supreme Court hears robocall case, flushes toilet https://appellatesquawk.wordpress.com/2020/05/08/supreme-court-hears-robocall-case-flushes-toilet/

scotusblog-robocalls-copy.png (1360×264)

Justice Scalia takes his show on the road https://appellatesquawk.wordpress.com/2014/03/24/the-justice-scalia-show/

Justice Scalia kills at Bench ‘n’ Bar https://appellatesquawk.wordpress.com/2013/02/16/justice-scalia-kills-at-bench-n-bar/

Scalia and Posner duke it out https://appellatesquawk.wordpress.com/2012/10/06/scalia-and-posner-duke-it-out/

Justice Scalia dissents from a traffic ticket https://appellatesquawk.wordpress.com/2011/04/09/justice-scalia-dissents-from-a-traffic-ticket/

PROSECUTORS

The prosecutor’s heavy burden

Where does the D.A. send naughty prosecutors? To the Appeals Bureau. https://appellatesquawk.wordpress.com/2011/05/13/where-do-naughty-prosecutors-go-to-the-da-appeals-bureau/

Do prosecutors know the truth from a lie? https://appellatesquawk.wordpress.com/2016/10/09/do-prosecutors-know-the-truth-from-a-lie/

swearability-hearing-1
“If I said my robe was white, would that be the truth or a lie?”

Prosecuting purse snatching as a hate crime https://appellatesquawk.wordpress.com/2016/11/27/brooklyn-da-prosecutes-purse-snatching-as-a-hate-crime/

Prosecutors admit wrongful convictions: the fox is very sorry and will return the chickens. https://appellatesquawk.wordpress.com/2014/06/27/prosecutors-admit-wrongful-convictions-the-fox-is-very-sorry-and-will-return-the-chickens/

Queens DA to arrestees: “I’m from the government and I’m here to help you.” https://appellatesquawk.wordpress.com/2014/11/08/queens-da-to-arrestees-im-from-the-government-and-im-here-to-help-you/

Prosecutors’ junta gets coal in its stocking for Christmas https://appellatesquawk.wordpress.com/2013/12/24/prosecutors-junta-gets-coal-in-its-stocking-for-christmas/

christmas-coal

Manhattan D.A. tries his hand at oral argument in the NY Court of Appeals https://appellatesquawk.wordpress.com/2012/02/20/district-attorney-vandal-tries-his-hand-at-oral-argument/

JURIES

The awful truth: seeing and hearing the witness doesn’t make the jury’s opinion more reliable https://appellatesquawk.wordpress.com/2011/03/29/mind-readers-in-court/

Inside the Jury Room https://appellatesquawk.wordpress.com/2011/01/13/inside-the-jury-room/

The Jury Movie https://appellatesquawk.wordpress.com/2010/12/24/the-jury-movie/

Squawk gets kicked off jury duty, is astonished. https://appellatesquawk.wordpress.com/2019/07/04/squawk-gets-kicked-off-jury-duty-is-astonished/

Forget speed dating. Try jury duty instead. https://appellatesquawk.wordpress.com/2019/11/22/forget-speed-dating-try-jury-duty/

It’s not a trial without a jury https://appellatesquawk.wordpress.com/2017/03/19/when-is-a-trial-not-a-trial-when-theres-no-jury/

Can you follow the law as given by His Honor?

Arrested for handing out leaflets about jury nullification https://appellatesquawk.wordpress.com/2012/04/14/a-shabby-old-man-distributing-his-silly-leaflets-from-the-sidewalk-outside-a-courthouse/ https://appellatesquawk.wordpress.com/2012/04/20/one-small-step-for-a-shabby-old-man-but-a-giant-leap-for-justice/

COPS

Cop gets booboo, client gets 5 years https://appellatesquawk.wordpress.com/2014/04/29/cop-gets-booboo-client-gets-5-years/

Cop injured

Crime doesn’t pay. Join the NYPD instead. https://appellatesquawk.wordpress.com/2012/09/03/crime-doesnt-pay-join-the-nypd-instead/

Britain’s policing by consent https://appellatesquawk.wordpress.com/2011/08/13/policing-by-consent/

Policing by Consent: Carsten Alvén

PRISONERS

Prisoner

Quality Use of Force (UOF) at Rikers Island https://appellatesquawk.wordpress.com/2018/05/30/quality-clobbering-at-rikers/

Prisoner gives “Miss Peach” comic strip to C.O., is prosecuted for sexual harassment https://appellatesquawk.wordpress.com/2020/06/14/sexual-thoughts-and-the-first-amendment/

Banning Prison Legal News https://appellatesquawk.wordpress.com/2018/05/24/the-constitution-does-not-require-florida-to-join-new-york-in-la-la-land/

Protecting Letters from Home | Prison Policy Initiative

Replacing prison with drug (mis)treatment https://appellatesquawk.wordpress.com/2014/08/08/replacing-jail-with-drug-mistreatment/

Drug dog

FREE SPEECH AND OTHER ODDITIES

The case of Masterpiece Cakeshop and compelled speech https://appellatesquawk.wordpress.com/2017/12/27/the-case-of-masterpiece-cakeshop/

https://appellatesquawk.wordpress.com/2018/08/17/masterpiece-cakeshop-refuses-birthday-cake-for-satan/

The ACLU uncompromisingly defends free speech. . . unless it’s offensive https://appellatesquawk.wordpress.com/2018/06/24/the-aclu-uncompromisingly-defends-free-speech-unless-its-offensive/

What’s cyberbullying? Judges know it when they see it. https://appellatesquawk.wordpress.com/2018/06/07/judge-bludgeon-rules-on-cyberbullying/

When is parody a crime? When no one gets it. https://appellatesquawk.wordpress.com/2017/09/08/when-is-parody-a-crime-when-nobody-gets-it/

Supreme Court to Patent Office: “Don’t FUCT with the First Amendment!” https://appellatesquawk.wordpress.com/2019/06/26/supreme-court-to-patent-office-dont-fuct-with-the-1st-amendment/

Are license plates government speech? Yup. https://appellatesquawk.wordpress.com/2015/07/05/is-there-a-constitutional-right-to-put-annoying-signs-on-the-back-of-your-car/

Government does not endorse
auto.MightyFineBurgers
Government endorses

Inflated rats are constitutionally protected, why not real rats? https://appellatesquawk.wordpress.com/2014/11/05/ratting-out-the-first-amendment/

Praise the Lord and renew my drivers license https://appellatesquawk.wordpress.com/2014/05/24/what-would-insert-your-deitys-name-here-do/

Je Suis Charlie: the massacre at Charlie Hebdo

150107_BB_Hebdo1011_350.jpg.CROP.original-original
“100 lashes if you don’t die laughing.”
247CA80E00000578-2900835-image-a-15_1420655521330
Parisians protest

https://appellatesquawk.wordpress.com/2015/01/09/je-suis-charlie/ https://appellatesquawk.wordpress.com/2015/01/14/je-suis-charlie-contd/

First edition of Charlie Hebdo after the massacre

SORA, SEX AND CIVIL COMMTIMENT

"Should its toenails be painted red or green?"
“Looks fine to us.”

SORA: The human cost of junk science https://appellatesquawk.wordpress.com/2016/08/04/sora-the-human-cost-of-junk-science/

The “science” of sex offender risk prediction https://appellatesquawk.wordpress.com/2015/05/02/the-science-of-sex-offender-risk-prediction/

RAI crystal ball

Sexperts in court https://appellatesquawk.wordpress.com/2012/12/17/sexperts-in-the-courtroom-part-1/

Happy Birthday, SORA, may you die soon. https://appellatesquawk.wordpress.com/2016/02/12/happy-20th-birthday-sora-may-you-die-soon/

The sex offender bus https://appellatesquawk.wordpress.com/2020/01/12/the-sex-offender-bus/

How SORA hearings really work https://appellatesquawk.wordpress.com/2010/12/29/a-sora-loser/

The NY Court of Appeals jumps on the bandwagon https://appellatesquawk.wordpress.com/2014/06/12/the-court-of-appeals-gets-righteous/

The new Sex Offender passport https://appellatesquawk.wordpress.com/2016/09/29/homeland-security-announces-contest-for-best-sex-offender-passport-design/

passport-for-sex-offenders

“Life in non-punitive therapeutic civil commitment is not what you think.” https://appellatesquawk.wordpress.com/2019/10/31/life-in-non-punitive-therapeutic-civil-commitment-is-not-what-you-think/

Duck Soup cartoon
by Jimmy Pesci, author and publisher of inmate magazine at Florida Civil Commitment Center

Prison sex offender “treatment” https://appellatesquawk.wordpress.com/2019/05/05/prison-sex-offender-treatment-vs-the-fifth/

Banning “sex offender art” https://appellatesquawk.wordpress.com/2018/07/15/the-ban-on-sex-offender-art/

Deciding SORA risk level based on acquitted charges https://appellatesquawk.wordpress.com/2018/04/29/the-court-of-appeals-believes-the-victim-even-when-the-jury-doesnt/

“It’s not prison, it’s residential treatment!” https://appellatesquawk.wordpress.com/2014/11/02/a-prison-by-any-other-name-would-smell-as-sweet/

Residential treatment
Prison
Residential treatment
Residential Treatment Facility

Santa Claus has a SORA hearing https://appellatesquawk.wordpress.com/2016/12/24/santa-claus-is-level-3/

santa

Virtual porn: the court knows it when it sees it https://appellatesquawk.wordpress.com/2012/02/26/virtual-porn-the-court-knows-it-when-it-sees-it/

Was a minor exploited to create this image?

LAW VS. SCIENCE

Witch doctor

The fake science journal “peer review” scam https://appellatesquawk.wordpress.com/2014/01/29/peering-into-peer-review/

“Not scientific? Them’s fightin’ words!” https://appellatesquawk.wordpress.com/2011/12/07/not-scientific-thems-fightin-words/

The horse who could do math, confirmatory bias and police lineups https://appellatesquawk.wordpress.com/2011/03/21/clever-hans-police-lineups-and-crime-labs/

CleverHans
Clever Hans

Does your DNA have Miranda rights? https://appellatesquawk.wordpress.com/2011/08/17/does-your-dna-have-the-right-to-counsel/

Expert water-dunking testimony held admissible https://appellatesquawk.wordpress.com/2017/11/22/court-admits-expert-water-dunking-testimony-as-relevant-helpful-to-jury/

Let’s make suppression hearings great again! https://appellatesquawk.wordpress.com/2019/02/03/lets-make-suppression-hearings-great-again/

How not to take a DNA sample from a phone https://appellatesquawk.wordpress.com/2016/11/18/whats-wrong-with-this-picture/

swabbing-dna-from-a-cell-phone

The DNA truck brings exoneration to your doorstep https://appellatesquawk.wordpress.com/2012/08/10/the-dna-truck-brings-exoneration-to-your-doorstep/

“Everything I know about science I learned in kindergarten” (or from Sherlock Holmes) https://appellatesquawk.wordpress.com/2012/06/03/everything-i-know-about-forensic-science-i-learned-in-kindergarden/

“He examined with his glass the word upon the wall, going over every letter with the most minute exactness.”

Don’t pan Frye https://appellatesquawk.wordpress.com/2011/04/03/dont-pan-frye/

DOJ says no cheating on photo arrays https://appellatesquawk.wordpress.com/2017/01/28/doj-recommends-new-photo-array-procedures-no-hints-allowed/

6-photos-1
“Fillers should be sufficiently similar so that the suspect’s photograph does not stand out. . .
same-6-photos
. . . but not so similar that a person who knew the suspect would find it difficult to distinguish him or her.”

Videotaping interrogations: The NY Court of Appeals blows it https://appellatesquawk.wordpress.com/2015/11/28/videotaping-interrogations-the-court-of-appeals-blows-it/

The Adrian Thomas case: Videotaping interrogations isn’t enough https://appellatesquawk.wordpress.com/2012/05/20/videotaping-police-interrogations-isnt-enough-part-i/

Scenes of a Crime on Twitter: "FREE: Adrian Thomas w his legal team a few  hours after release (l-r Turi, Effman, Coffey, Thomas, J. Frost, A. Frost)  http://t.co/466Y6E5h3h"
The documentary that exposed a false confession

https://appellatesquawk.wordpress.com/2012/05/24/videotaping-police-interrogations-isnt-enough-part-2/

COPING WITH THE OFFICE

Squawk and the Boss

Is this your office?https://appellatesquawk.wordpress.com/2019/12/15/not-your-law-office-click-here/

The compulsory program mystique https://appellatesquawk.wordpress.com/2019/08/25/the-compulsory-program-mystique/

Suppression of counter-revolutionary thinking

Can you be fired for calling your boss a f*cking moron?https://appellatesquawk.wordpress.com/2015/06/27/can-you-be-fired-for-calling-your-boss-a-fcking-moron//

Mr. Dithers

How to send strictly work-related email https://appellatesquawk.wordpress.com/2015/03/10/how-to-send-strictly-work-related-email/

Squawk typing

AU CONTRAIRE

Are you a cissy? https://appellatesquawk.wordpress.com/2017/05/18/are-you-a-cissy/

For which Squawk was put on “final warning.” https://appellatesquawk.wordpress.com/2019/03/10/squawk-is-condemned/

Trigger warnings for courtrooms https://appellatesquawk.wordpress.com/2018/01/29/trigger-warnings-for-courtrooms/

If you need a halo, don’t do criminal defense https://appellatesquawk.wordpress.com/2018/07/04/criminal-defense-vs-social-justice/

More client-centered than thou. https://appellatesquawk.wordpress.com/2016/01/29/more-client-centered-than-thou/

Call a rose by any other name and it’ll see you in court https://appellatesquawk.wordpress.com/2020/09/19/call-a-rose-by-any-other-name-and-itll-see-you-in-court/

Punch & Judy’s easy answers to everything https://appellatesquawk.wordpress.com/2018/02/03/punch-judys-easy-answers-to-everything/

Waiting 30 years to accuse Judge Kavanaugh https://appellatesquawk.wordpress.com/2018/10/12/the-presumption-of-innocence-sleeping-on-ones-rights-and-fundamental-fairness/

Newspeak reforms criminal defense https://appellatesquawk.wordpress.com/2018/10/03/new-labels-for-old/

Helvetica Bold

Linda Fairstein still thinks the Central Park 5 are guilty https://appellatesquawk.wordpress.com/2018/08/01/linda-fairstein-central-park-five-guilty-as-charged/

Being fair to Fairstein https://appellatesquawk.wordpress.com/2018/12/03/being-fair-to-fairstein/

“Justice in Every Borough” https://appellatesquawk.wordpress.com/2019/05/24/justice-in-every-borough/

Relax, baby, I’m gay https://appellatesquawk.wordpress.com/2018/03/02/relax-baby-im-gay/

The end of the world will have disproportionate effect on our clients https://appellatesquawk.wordpress.com/2018/03/02/deadly-meteor-expected-to-demolish-earth-any-minute/

COPING WITH COVID-19 IN 2020

This image has an empty alt attribute; its file name is squawk-with-mask-2.jpeg

Squawk under house arrest https://appellatesquawk.wordpress.com/2020/03/16/squawk-under-house-arrest/

Sign in Bronx
Bronx bodega April 2020

Courts closed due to the pandemic should follow the example of restaurants. https://appellatesquawk.wordpress.com/2020/07/14/indoor-public-defending/

Would you care to start with a guilty plea?

Taking a tip from the concert hall: replacing juries with potted plants: https://appellatesquawk.wordpress.com/2020/06/27/courts-to-replace-juries-with-potted-plants/

“Don’t invite me to your stupid Zoom party!” https://appellatesquawk.wordpress.com/2020/05/21/dont-you-dare-invite-me-to-your-stupid-zoom-party/

JUDGE WOOL

The wit and wisdom of a feathered judge https://appellatesquawk.wordpress.com/judge-wool-says/

Judge Wool’s judicial horoscope https://appellatesquawk.wordpress.com/2012/10/04/judge-wools-judicial-horoscope/

Judge Wool for NY Court of Appeals https://appellatesquawk.wordpress.com/2012/07/18/judge-wool-for-court-of-appeals/

APPELLATE SQUAWK’S MURDER MYSTERY

Sherlock Squawk

An illustrated novella where the corpse is a DA and the sleuth is an irreverent solo practitioner .https://appellatesquawk.wordpress.com/appellate-squawks-murder-mystery-2/

Harry confronts Franklin
“You can’t just let her plead guilty to a life sentence!”

IN DEFENSE OF SHELDON SILVER

https://appellatesquawk.wordpress.com/2015/02/04/in-defense-of-sheldon-silver/

Sheldon Silver’s life matters https://appellatesquawk.wordpress.com/2016/05/12/sheldon-silvers-life-matters/

Sheldon Silver’s life matters Part 2 https://appellatesquawk.wordpress.com/2016/05/13/sheldon-silvers-life-matters-part-2/

Sentencing Sheldon Silver https://appellatesquawk.wordpress.com/2018/07/25/sentencing-sheldon-silver/

THAT’S NOT FAIR!

Granny stun-gunned for picking dandelion greens https://appellatesquawk.wordpress.com/2018/09/01/granny-stun-gunned-for-gathering-dandelions/

The Lucky Bag scam https://appellatesquawk.wordpress.com/2013/01/25/the-lucky-bag-scam/

Lucky bag2

Is a goldfish a “companion animal”? https://appellatesquawk.wordpress.com/2011/04/23/solons-propose-animal-abusers-registry-for-real/

STATUES

Do statues matter? https://appellatesquawk.wordpress.com/2020/06/21/do-statues-matter

pigeons.jpg (720×664)

Let’s remove offensive statues from Central Park https://appellatesquawk.wordpress.com/2017/09/13/lets-remove-offensive-statues-from-central-park/

Alice in Wonderland

Exiled Statues find asylum at Green-Wood Cemetery https://appellatesquawk.wordpress.com/2018/05/06/exiled-statues-find-asylum-in-green-wood-cemetery/

Dr. Marion Sims removed from Central Park

HOLIDAYS

Lunar New Year 2020: Year of the Rat https://appellatesquawk.wordpress.com/2020/01/25/happy-lunar-new-year-2020-year-of-the-rat/

Easter Bunny convicted of kidnapping, trafficking https://appellatesquawk.wordpress.com/2019/04/20/easter-bunny-convicted-of-kidnapping-trafficking/

Stocking stuffers
Need stocking stuffers for Christmas? Try a little judge-shopping.

The naughty/nice hearings https://appellatesquawk.wordpress.com/2011/12/18/the-naughtynice-hearings/

AT THE MOVIES

Criminal defense in India: https://appellatesquawk.wordpress.com/2015/07/24/squawk-at-the-movies-court-by-chaitanya-tamhane/

Court defense and prosecutor

MISCELLANEOUS

Squawk goes to DC, falls into Reflecting Pool https://appellatesquawk.wordpress.com/2019/06/13/squawk-goes-to-washington/

Are your politics acceptable to your cabdriver? https://appellatesquawk.wordpress.com/2018/11/19/are-your-politics-acceptable-to-your-cabdriver/

Vigilant baker edits Summa [obscenity deleted] Laude graduation cake https://appellatesquawk.wordpress.com/2018/06/04/cake-religion-and-summa-obscenity-deleted-laude/

Speaking Tooth to Powerhttps://appellatesquawk.wordpress.com/2011/01/09/speaking-tooth-to-power/

President Trump takes to the street https://appellatesquawk.wordpress.com/2017/10/16/president-trump-takes-to-the-street/

In memory of Dennis Murphy, public defender https://appellatesquawk.wordpress.com/2017/03/24/in-memory-of-dennis-murphy-public-defender/

Horsing around at the office

Does watching “Hamlet” incite revenge murder? What about “Oedipus Rex”? https://appellatesquawk.wordpress.com/2017/02/06/from-the-archives-judge-rakoff-on-graffiti-and-oedipus-rex/

Guest post from the Houston Public Defender: Vwar Deer or Vor Dyre? https://appellatesquawk.wordpress.com/2016/12/09/vwar-deer-or-vor-dire-a-guest-post-from-the-public-defender-of-harris-co-texas

texas-judge

Eliot Spitzer finds Jesus in front of the Brooklyn Municipal Building https://appellatesquawk.wordpress.com/2013/09/10/eliot-spitzer-finds-jesus/

Spitzer’s post-scandal bid for Presidential nomination

ISIS highly offended by Trump’s crediting Obama as founder https://appellatesquawk.wordpress.com/2016/08/13/not-the-news-isis-highly-insulted-by-trumps-crediting-obama-as-founder/

Tribute to A.P. Herbert’s “Misleading Cases” https://appellatesquawk.wordpress.com/2014/08/19/breaking-news-king-john-signs-magna-carta/

Judge Jack Weinstein on growing up in Brooklyn. https://appellatesquawk.wordpress.com/2016/01/14/judge-weinstein-at-the-brooklyn-historical-society/

weinstein-old-brooklyn
“I come from a lawless family. My grandparents fled Russia in 1905 to avoid arrest. When my father lost his job during the Depression, he brought us food that ‘fell off the back of a truck.'”

NY endorses frog as State Amphibian https://appellatesquawk.wordpress.com/2015/06/18/ny-lawmakers-back-frog-as-official-state-amphibian/

Frog
Bail bonds hot dog cart
Where to get a bail bond in the Bronx

“Occupy Food”: the farmers’ march to Zuccotti Park https://appellatesquawk.wordpress.com/2011/12/14/occupy-food-the-farmers-march-to-zuccotti-park/

You can’t smoke your crack and have it https://appellatesquawk.wordpress.com/2012/06/07/you-cant-smoke-your-crack-and-have-it/

Squawkuppy Wall Street 2011 https://appellatesquawk.wordpress.com/2011/10/24/squawkccupy-wall-street-part-one/ https://appellatesquawk.wordpress.com/2011/10/24/squawkccupy-wall-street-part-2/

NYC’s last peaceful demonstration https://appellatesquawk.wordpress.com/2011/11/18/cop-clubs-unarmed-protestor-gets-hangnail/

Squawk writing

About Appellate Squawk

A satirical blog for criminal defense lawyers and their friends who won't give up without a squawk.
This entry was posted in Law & Parody. Bookmark the permalink.

2 Responses to THE BEST OF APPELLATE SQUAWK 2010-2020

  1. Alex Bunin says:

    It is all the best.

    Like

  2. E.S. says:

    Squawk does it again! This is a wonderful compendium of Squawk’s brilliance.

    Like

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