Category Archives: Criminal Defense Appeals

Easter Bunny convicted of kidnapping, trafficking

Defendant E. Bunny appeals her conviction of kidnapping of minors, trafficking and disorderly conduct. For the reasons stated below, we affirm. Contrary to defendant’s laughable argument, her arrest was entirely lawful. Police Officer Cluck credibly testified that based on his … Continue reading

Posted in Criminal Defense Appeals, Humor, Law & Parody, Satirical cartoons | 5 Comments

What is ineffective assistance of appellate counsel?

Ye blind guides, which strain at a gnat and swallow a camel. — Matthew 23: 24. In an unusual burst of candor, New York’s highest court recently confessed to what we’ve always suspected: if your appeal is a loser, it … Continue reading

Posted in Criminal Defense Appeals, Law & Parody, Satire and parody | 5 Comments

Justice Thomas decries Court’s latest “defendant-always-wins” rule

 Our company boss-persons recently decreed that the office’s 50-year archive of vintage appellate briefs must go. We sadly watched as giant blue bins were loaded to the brim with typewritten pre-computer gems of scholarship and advocacy, condemned to be recycled … Continue reading

Posted in Criminal Defense Appeals, Law & Parody, Satirical cartoons | Tagged , , , | 2 Comments

Chief to judges: dissent at your own risk.

Does your boss stifle dissent? You’re not alone! The fearless Judge Saxe, retired from the First Department, reveals that Chief Judge Flowerpot refuses to let judges stay past retirement age if they’ve written too many unsuccessful dissents. Used to be that … Continue reading

Posted in Criminal Defense Appeals, Judges, Law & Parody, Satirical cartoons | 2 Comments

Ineffective Assistance of Counsel, Aussie Style

One of our worst moments as an appellate squawk was sitting in an Alabama courtroom watching a lawyer hand over his former client’s entire file to the prosecutor.  The idea being that if a defendant argues on appeal that his … Continue reading

Posted in Criminal Defense Appeals, Criminal law | Tagged | 1 Comment

New labels for old

We’ve just received a directive to reform our vocabulary in compliance with The Criminal Justice Reform Phrase Guide authored by The Opportunity Agenda, a progressive propaganda outfit describing itself as a “social justice communication lab” that “shapes compelling messages and narratives” to … Continue reading

Posted in Criminal Defense Appeals, Law & Parody | Tagged | 3 Comments

Albany prosecutor fired for secretly writing defense briefs

Defense lawyer Cheryl Coleman thought it was a brilliant idea to hire her local Assistant District Attorney – the aptly named Steve Sharp – to write her criminal appeals on the QT.  For years, Sharp and Coleman regularly appeared against … Continue reading

Posted in Criminal Defense Appeals, Law & Parody, Satirical cartoons | Tagged , , | 18 Comments