Category Archives: Criminal law

When is a trial not a trial? When there’s no jury.

We recently briefed a case where the judge took the bench after the lunch break and announced, “The Court has arrived at a verdict.  The verdict is –,” until the parties frantically stopped her. The trial hadn’t finished yet!  She … Continue reading

Posted in Criminal law, Judges, Law & Parody, Satirical cartoons | Tagged | 2 Comments

DOJ recommends new photo array procedures: no hints allowed.

The U.S. Department of Justice has issued new recommendations  for photo arrays – when cops show a witness the suspect’s photo along with photos of five other guys and ask which one is the perp.  The DOJ thinks it would look … Continue reading

Posted in Criminal law, eyewitness identification, Humor, Law & Parody, Satirical cartoons | Tagged | 2 Comments

Santa Claus is Level 3

Scene: SORA hearing in front of Judge Dudgeon Bludgeon. ADA Tightskirt: Judge, Mr. Claus should be adjudicated a Level 3 maximum risk sex offender. He’s a recidivist sexually motivated burglar. Santa Claus: (appearing pro se) Nonsense! I’ve never had any trouble … Continue reading

Posted in Criminal law, Humor, Law & Parody, Satirical cartoons, SORA | Tagged | 4 Comments

Vwar deer or vor dire? A guest post from the Public Defender of Harris Co., Texas

Alex Bunin founded the first and only public defender’s office in Houston, Texas, replacing the traditional folk custom of appointment-by-donation-to-the-judge’s-campaign. Asked in an interview with Simple Justice how he was received by the Jumbo State’s legal establishment, Alex said, “The biggest obstacle … Continue reading

Posted in Criminal law, Humor, Law, Satirical cartoons | Tagged , | 2 Comments

Brooklyn DA prosecutes purse snatching as a hate crime

A recent press release from the Brooklyn DA’s Office announced that they’re charging a man with hate crimes for purse snatching and lifting a wallet from a handbag left in a shopping cart in T.J. Maxx Department Store. “We will work … Continue reading

Posted in Civil Liberties, Criminal law, Law & Parody | Tagged , | 2 Comments

What do legislators know about the Constitution?

     If you ever try to challenge the constitutionality of a statute, the predictable response from the courts is always, “deference to the Legislature.” Why should legislators know what’s constitutional? Based on the flyers we find in our mailbox among … Continue reading

Posted in Criminal law, Law & Parody | Tagged | 1 Comment

Do prosecutors know the truth from a lie?

Word is that California plans to make it a felony for prosecutors to hide exculpatory evidence from the defense.  That’s harsh: to the prosecutor cerebellum, “exculpatory evidence” is a contradiction in terms. After all, the defendant is obviously guilty or they … Continue reading

Posted in Criminal Defense Appeals, Criminal law, Humor, Law, Law & Parody, Satirical cartoons | Tagged , | 1 Comment