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“I’m not eccentric, I’m just more alive than most people. I’m an unpopular electric eel in a pond of goldfish.” — Edith Sitwell.
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Recent Posts
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- NY DA Supports Discrimination Against HIV+ Persons
- The Public Defender Card Game
- Maud Maron v. The Legal Aid Society
- I’m objective, thee is biased
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- “My pronouns are sheehurr… so yours would be?”
- May it really, really displease the court
- Defending the Second Amendment
- May It Displease the Court
- Covid in the Courtrooms: an Unnecessary Risk
- Judge Jack Weinstein 1921-2021
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- Convicting Bill Cosby: “An Unconstitutional Coercive Bait-and-Switch”
- Judge Conviser rips into SORA
- Adios, 2020!
- THE BEST OF APPELLATE SQUAWK 2010-2020
- Call a rose by any other name and it’ll see you in court
- Try the new high-tech system for alienating your clients
- Outdoor Public Defending
- Why do cops lie? Because judges believe them.
- Courts to replace juries with potted plants
- Do Statues Matter?
- Sexual thoughts and the First Amendment
- COVID-19 masks for judges
- Judges in trouble
- Hell hath no fury like a client scorned
- “Don’t you dare invite me to your stupid Zoom party!”
- Janitors, Catholic schoolteachers and the Hosanna exception
- Supreme Court hears robocall case, flushes toilet
- “Planet of the Humans”
- The virus, like the rain, falleth on the just and the unjust
- The NYC arraignment scandal: part 2
- NYC courtrooms: the arraignment scandal
- Squawk under house arrest
- Must be true, says so right here in the Probation Report
- Discovery reform in Brooklyn: fuggetabout WitCom
- Happy Lunar New Year 2020: Year of the Rat
- The Sex Offender Bus
- Head for the hills, discovery reform arrives with the New Year!
- Annals of Social Injustice: Affluent People Drinking Rosé in Central Park
- Is it silly to demand transparency from appellate courts?
- “Your question has nothing to do with this case, Judge.”
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- Let’s keep dogs off the witness stand.
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Category Archives: Criminal procedure
“Don’t you dare invite me to your stupid Zoom party!”
An opinion piece grumbles that our socially distanced lives have become overstuffed with Zoom events, “a tedious trend that needs to stop.” And don’t you invite us to your stupid Zoom office meetings neither. Scientific studies by Dr. Google have conclusively shown that … Continue reading
Discovery reform in Brooklyn: fuggetabout WitCom
Now that New York has adopted the radical notion that an accused should know something about the accusations before the morning of trial, prosecutors have been scrambling to get around the new discovery laws. One of which is that the … Continue reading
Is it silly to demand transparency from appellate courts?
We’re always grousing about how courts deny our appeals without reading our briefs, but a recent Supreme Court cert denial showed that’s a heap of ol’ catfish compared to what goes on in Louisiana. The scandal broke back in May, … Continue reading
Posted in Appellate advocacy, Criminal Defense Appeals, Criminal procedure, Judges, Law & Parody
Tagged Louis Schexnayder, Louisiana
2 Comments
Let’s make suppression hearings great again!
. . . even if they never were. (This is a re-creation. Yesterday’s post disappeared under mysterious circumstances after being published). Ever since Justice Frankfurter’s outraged account of the Sacco and Vanzetti case (a marvelous model brief on how … Continue reading
Posted in Criminal procedure, Judges, Law & Parody, Satirical cartoons
3 Comments
OMG!! What’s so reliable about excited utterance?
The excited utterance exception to the rule against hearsay “rests on no firmer ground than judicial habit, in turn reflecting judicial incuriosity and reluctance to consider ancient dogmas.” — Judge Posner, 7th Cir. According to ancient dogmas, the stress of … Continue reading
“Thrusting counsel upon the accused against his considered wish”
The Constitution forbids “thrust[ing] counsel upon the accused against his considered wish.” — Faretta v. California (US 1975). The right to self-representation embodies one of the most cherished ideals of our culture: the right of an individual to determine his own … Continue reading
Posted in Criminal procedure, Law & Parody, Satirical cartoons
Tagged NY Court of Appeals
3 Comments
Trigger warnings for courtrooms
“We understand that even the thought of an individual coming to campus with the views that Mr. Shapiro [a twerpy conservative political commentator] expresses can be concerning and even hurtful and that’s why we wanted to make you aware as … Continue reading
Posted in Criminal procedure, Law & Parody, Satire and parody
Tagged Ben Shapiro, microaggressions, safe spaces
5 Comments
“Appearing in court isn’t supposed to be fun.”
Anyone unlucky enough to have their presence required in a New York City criminal court can sit in the courtroom for hours, shouted at by overbearing court officers in bulletproof armor and unable to get the attention of anyone … Continue reading
Posted in Criminal procedure
Tagged Center for Court Innovation, New York courts, Procedural justice
3 Comments
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