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Judge Wool says
“Sorry for the inconvenience, but we’re fighting for survival.” Signs displayed by protesters at Hong Kong airport.
- Putting the brakes on “victims’ rights”
- Maestro James Levine (somewhat) rehabilitated
- The Compulsory Program Mystique
- Fox snarls at pursuing hounds, is shot for bullying behavior
- “Pray for Trump”
- Squawk gets kicked off jury duty, is astonished.
- Supreme Court to Patent Office: Don’t FUCT with the 1st Amendment
- Squawk goes to Washington
- “Justice in every borough”
- Big Brother remembers your face
- Prison Sex Offender Treatment vs. The Fifth
- Easter Bunny convicted of kidnapping, trafficking
- Is it legal to threaten to behead the Chief Clerk of the Court?
- What is ineffective assistance of appellate counsel?
- At the movies: Woman at War
- Squawk is condemned
- Justice Thomas decries Court’s latest “defendant-always-wins” rule
- Let’s make suppression hearings great again!
- Chief to judges: dissent at your own risk.
- Is a trial a search for the truth?
- Ineffective Assistance of Counsel, Aussie Style
- Being fair to Fairstein
- The solution to courtroom delays: hockey pucks
- Are your politics acceptable to your cabdriver?
- How to keep your employees safe and happy: give them guns for Christmas
- Everything you’ve ever wanted to say to a judge but had sense enough not to.
- The Presumption of Innocence, “Sleeping on One’s Rights” and Fundamental Fairness
- New labels for old
- Judge Kavanaugh’s crickets
- Queens judges say the darndest things
- Granny stun-gunned for gathering dandelions
- Albany prosecutor fired for secretly writing defense briefs
- Masterpiece Cakeshop refuses birthday cake for Satan
- How to get judges to read your brief
- Linda Fairstein: Central Park Five guilty as charged
- Sentencing Sheldon Silver
- The ban on “sex offender” art
- Criminal defense vs. “social justice”
- Courts should take a tip from the Dept. of Agriculture
- The ACLU uncompromisingly defends free speech — unless it’s offensive.
- Judge Bludgeon rules on cyberbullying
- Cake, religion and Summa [obscenity deleted] Laude
- Stalkers of Lady Justice
- Quality clobbering at Rikers
- “The Constitution does not require Florida to join New York in la-la-land.”
- OMG!! What’s so reliable about excited utterance?
- Exiled statues find asylum in Green-Wood Cemetery
- The Court of Appeals believes the victim (even when the jury doesn’t)
- “Thrusting counsel upon the accused against his considered wish”
- Bronx judge finds solution to trial delays: eliminate attorneys
- Follow Appellate Squawk on WordPress.com
Category Archives: Humor
A friend spotted this bumper sticker: “Pray for Trump. Psalm 109:8.” Being an alert attorney and law professor, she naturally checked the cite. The verse is: “Let his days be few and another take his office.”
Defendant E. Bunny appeals her conviction of kidnapping of minors, trafficking and disorderly conduct. For the reasons stated below, we affirm. Contrary to defendant’s laughable argument, her arrest was entirely lawful. Police Officer Cluck credibly testified that based on his … Continue reading
Reasonable people can disagree about GMO (genetically modified organism) food production. You can take the word of the multi-billion dollar agrichemical behemoths like Monsanto who deny its damaging effects on the environment, human health and the livelihoods of farmers and who go to … Continue reading
Addition and Subtraction for Attorneys Explore the mysteries of arithmetic in this empowering seminar guaranteed to improve your ability to calculate everything from billable hours to SORA points. Prerequisite: Introduction to Counting. How to Use Comas and Other Punctuation The nuts and … Continue reading
We donated a dollar and he blew us a kiss. P.S. Squawk has gone legit! See us in “The Crime Report,” the online zine of John Jay College of Criminal Justice.
Lenny Bruce complained that cops would go to his show, write down every word of his routine and then read it aloud in the Grand Jury, completely ruining his lines. Although not remotely in the league of that great iconoclast, we … Continue reading