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Judge Wool says
“The historical record of political movements that sought to expand freedom for the oppressed by eliminating it for their enemies is dismal.” — Jonathan Chait, “How the language police are perverting liberalism.”
- Judge Bludgeon rules on cyberbullying
- Cake, religion and Summa [obscenity deleted] Laude
- Stalkers of Lady Justice
- Quality clobbering at Rikers
- “The Constitution does not require Florida to join New York in la-la-land.”
- OMG!! What’s so reliable about excited utterance?
- Exiled statues find asylum in Green-Wood Cemetery
- The Court of Appeals believes the victim (even when the jury doesn’t)
- “Thrusting counsel upon the accused against his considered wish”
- Bronx judge finds solution to trial delays: eliminate attorneys
- Appellate Squawk celebrates National Poetry Month
- The ultimate bail reform: shoot the client
- Relax, baby, I’m gay.
- Deadly meteor expected to demolish Earth any minute
- Appellate Squawk’s Radiant Institute of Continuing Legal Education
- ICE, ICE, baby!*
- Punch & Judy’s easy answers to everything
- Trigger warnings for courtrooms
- Guv to judges: want a raise? get to work on time.
- Seven words to be banned in court
- The Case of Masterpiece Cakeshop
- “Appearing in court isn’t supposed to be fun.”
- Maestro James Levine
- “What cross-race charge? What are you talking about?”
- Court admits expert water-dunking testimony as relevant, helpful to jury.
- Chief Judge orders prosecutors not to be crooked and defense lawyers not to be incompetent
- “Hands up, motherf*cker! This is a request for information!”
- “Give me a lawyer, dawg.”
- President Trump takes to the street
- Squawk is interrogated
- Privacy for me but not for thee
- Let’s remove offensive statues from Central Park
- When is parody a crime? When nobody gets it.
- Thoughtfully prosecuting your client
- Law vs. Science
- Searching for the right court for your appeal? View these 521 customer reviews.
- Is a lawyer a “significant individual”? Court says nix.
- Squawk has been ungood
- Police Commissioner announces new anti-spitting technology
- “The War on Sex”
- Are you a cissy?
- Powerpoint for the defense
- Prosecutor Powerpoint and Wigmore’s horse
- In memory of Dennis Murphy, public defender
- When is a trial not a trial? When there’s no jury.
- How to describe judicial decisionmaking without being held in contempt
- The Court of Appeals rules on SORA
- From the archives: Judge Rakoff on graffiti and Oedipus Rex
- Lunar New Year message: take a tip from the fish
- DOJ recommends new photo array procedures: no hints allowed.
- Follow Appellate Squawk on WordPress.com
Category Archives: Humor
Addition and Subtraction for Attorneys Explore the mysteries of arithmetic in this empowering seminar guaranteed to improve your ability to calculate everything from billable hours to SORA points. Prerequisite: Introduction to Counting. How to Use Comas and Other Punctuation The nuts and … Continue reading
We donated a dollar and he blew us a kiss. P.S. Squawk has gone legit! See us in “The Crime Report,” the online zine of John Jay College of Criminal Justice.
Lenny Bruce complained that cops would go to his show, write down every word of his routine and then read it aloud in the Grand Jury, completely ruining his lines. Although not remotely in the league of that great iconoclast, we … Continue reading
One of the most volatile controversies of our time is whether the Dead Sea Scrolls were written by the Essenes, an ascetic community living around 100 B.C. Given the public’s strong feelings on the question, it was only a matter … Continue reading
Recently received from our employer (we’re not making this up): “[Public Defender] urges and expects employees to report harassing and discriminatory behavior of third parties, including clients. . . . Rest assured that the response of [Public Defender] to clients who engage in … Continue reading
One of the many annoyances of being accused of a crime is having to put up with humiliating questions from your lawyer. Like, “Was your grandmother a drug addict?” “When was the last time you had sex?” or “Do you … Continue reading
Prosecutors see nothing wrong with summing up with Powerpoint like this: Well, two can play this game. Here are some handy graphics for defense summations: