Like this blog?Bookmark it and inflict it on others!
Judge Wool says
The Penal Law is not a book of etiquette. — People v. Hogan (dismissing harassment charge against defendant for calling his wife a fucking bitch during quarrel).
- Squawk goes to Washington
- “Justice in every borough”
- Big Brother remembers your face
- Prison Sex Offender Treatment vs. The Fifth
- Easter Bunny convicted of kidnapping, trafficking
- Is it legal to threaten to behead the Chief Clerk of the Court?
- What is ineffective assistance of appellate counsel?
- At the movies: Woman at War
- Squawk is condemned
- Justice Thomas decries Court’s latest “defendant-always-wins” rule
- Let’s make suppression hearings great again!
- Chief to judges: dissent at your own risk.
- Is a trial a search for the truth?
- Ineffective Assistance of Counsel, Aussie Style
- Being fair to Fairstein
- The solution to courtroom delays: hockey pucks
- Are your politics acceptable to your cabdriver?
- How to keep your employees safe and happy: give them guns for Christmas
- Everything you’ve ever wanted to say to a judge but had sense enough not to.
- The Presumption of Innocence, “Sleeping on One’s Rights” and Fundamental Fairness
- New labels for old
- Judge Kavanaugh’s crickets
- Queens judges say the darndest things
- Granny stun-gunned for gathering dandelions
- Albany prosecutor fired for secretly writing defense briefs
- Masterpiece Cakeshop refuses birthday cake for Satan
- How to get judges to read your brief
- Linda Fairstein: Central Park Five guilty as charged
- Sentencing Sheldon Silver
- The ban on “sex offender” art
- Criminal defense vs. “social justice”
- Courts should take a tip from the Dept. of Agriculture
- The ACLU uncompromisingly defends free speech — unless it’s offensive.
- Judge Bludgeon rules on cyberbullying
- Cake, religion and Summa [obscenity deleted] Laude
- Stalkers of Lady Justice
- Quality clobbering at Rikers
- “The Constitution does not require Florida to join New York in la-la-land.”
- OMG!! What’s so reliable about excited utterance?
- Exiled statues find asylum in Green-Wood Cemetery
- The Court of Appeals believes the victim (even when the jury doesn’t)
- “Thrusting counsel upon the accused against his considered wish”
- Bronx judge finds solution to trial delays: eliminate attorneys
- Appellate Squawk celebrates National Poetry Month
- The ultimate bail reform: shoot the client
- Relax, baby, I’m gay.
- Deadly meteor expected to demolish Earth any minute
- Appellate Squawk’s Radiant Institute of Continuing Legal Education
- ICE, ICE, baby!*
- Punch & Judy’s easy answers to everything
- Follow Appellate Squawk on WordPress.com
Category Archives: Law & Parody
We recently took a trip to our Nation’s capital, staying at a pleasant Quaker hostel (“Does thee have a reservation?”) a stone’s throw from the Supreme Court. The first thing we noticed on the D.C. Mall was the fleets of … Continue reading
Defendant E. Bunny appeals her conviction of kidnapping of minors, trafficking and disorderly conduct. For the reasons stated below, we affirm. Contrary to defendant’s laughable argument, her arrest was entirely lawful. Police Officer Cluck credibly testified that based on his … Continue reading
Have you ever had the Clerk of the Court reject a brief that you’ve labored over for months just because you signed in black ink instead of blue? Refuse to accept your brilliantly insightful case-of-first-impression masterpiece because you wrote “Printing … Continue reading
Ye blind guides, which strain at a gnat and swallow a camel. — Matthew 23: 24. In an unusual burst of candor, New York’s highest court recently confessed to what we’ve always suspected: if your appeal is a loser, it … Continue reading
A couple of years ago we published “Are you a cissy?” , a spoof of a compulsory training inflicted on us by the boss’s wife who announced a mandatory policy of quizzing our clients about gender issues. On first contact, no … Continue reading
Our company boss-persons recently decreed that the office’s 50-year archive of vintage appellate briefs must go. We sadly watched as giant blue bins were loaded to the brim with typewritten pre-computer gems of scholarship and advocacy, condemned to be recycled … Continue reading
. . . even if they never were. (This is a re-creation. Yesterday’s post disappeared under mysterious circumstances after being published). Ever since Justice Frankfurter’s outraged account of the Sacco and Vanzetti case (a marvelous model brief on how … Continue reading