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President Trump is the best thing that ever happened to the conformist automatons who fancy themselves great rebels.
Today’s Quote
“On the Day of Judgment I shall probably be up on my hind legs putting a few impertinent questions to the Prosecution.” — Rumpole of the Bailey.
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Recent Posts
- Are your politics acceptable to your cabdriver?
- How to keep your employees safe and happy: give them guns for Christmas
- Everything you’ve ever wanted to say to a judge but had sense enough not to.
- The Presumption of Innocence, “Sleeping on One’s Rights” and Fundamental Fairness
- New labels for old
- Judge Kavanaugh’s crickets
- Queens judges say the darndest things
- Granny stun-gunned for gathering dandelions
- Albany prosecutor fired for secretly writing defense briefs
- Masterpiece Cakeshop refuses birthday cake for Satan
- How to get judges to read your brief
- Linda Fairstein: Central Park Five guilty as charged
- Sentencing Sheldon Silver
- The ban on “sex offender” art
- Criminal defense vs. “social justice”
- Courts should take a tip from the Dept. of Agriculture
- The ACLU uncompromisingly defends free speech — unless it’s offensive.
- Judge Bludgeon rules on cyberbullying
- Cake, religion and Summa [obscenity deleted] Laude
- Stalkers of Lady Justice
- Quality clobbering at Rikers
- “The Constitution does not require Florida to join New York in la-la-land.”
- OMG!! What’s so reliable about excited utterance?
- Exiled statues find asylum in Green-Wood Cemetery
- The Court of Appeals believes the victim (even when the jury doesn’t)
- “Thrusting counsel upon the accused against his considered wish”
- Bronx judge finds solution to trial delays: eliminate attorneys
- Appellate Squawk celebrates National Poetry Month
- The ultimate bail reform: shoot the client
- Relax, baby, I’m gay.
- Deadly meteor expected to demolish Earth any minute
- Appellate Squawk’s Radiant Institute of Continuing Legal Education
- ICE, ICE, baby!*
- Punch & Judy’s easy answers to everything
- Trigger warnings for courtrooms
- Guv to judges: want a raise? get to work on time.
- Seven words to be banned in court
- The Case of Masterpiece Cakeshop
- “Appearing in court isn’t supposed to be fun.”
- Maestro James Levine
- “What cross-race charge? What are you talking about?”
- Court admits expert water-dunking testimony as relevant, helpful to jury.
- Chief Judge orders prosecutors not to be crooked and defense lawyers not to be incompetent
- “Hands up, motherf*cker! This is a request for information!”
- “Give me a lawyer, dawg.”
- President Trump takes to the street
- Squawk is interrogated
- Privacy for me but not for thee
- Let’s remove offensive statues from Central Park
- When is parody a crime? When nobody gets it.
- Follow Appellate Squawk on WordPress.com
Category Archives: Law & Parody
How to keep your employees safe and happy: give them guns for Christmas
A Wisconsin glassware company has discovered the perfect Christmas gift for its employees: a gift certificate for a gun. “For us, now, we have an entire armed staff,” co-owner Ben Wolfgram told the Appleton Post-Crescent. “I think that’s pretty good.” … Continue reading
Posted in Law & Parody
3 Comments
Everything you’ve ever wanted to say to a judge but had sense enough not to.
Don’t pretend you’ve never been tempted to respond like this when you get a bad decision from a court: I find it hard to believe that after the Court had the motion for 5 months to decide, that it could … Continue reading
Posted in Law & Parody, Satirical cartoons
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New labels for old
We’ve just received a directive to reform our vocabulary in compliance with The Criminal Justice Reform Phrase Guide authored by The Opportunity Agenda, a progressive propaganda outfit describing itself as a “social justice communication lab” that “shapes compelling messages and narratives” to … Continue reading
Judge Kavanaugh’s crickets
What with all this brouhaha over Judge Kavanaugh’s high school conduct, it’s time to look at some of the more substantive issues, such as his outstanding crickets jurisprudence. This might have been entirely overlooked but for the ever-alert Lowering the Bar. … Continue reading
Posted in Judges, Law & Parody
1 Comment
Queens judges say the darndest things
Welcome to Queens, birthplace of the Mets, Weight Watchers and President Trump. Where, if you’re on trial for a crime, the prosecutor is likely to be the judge’s kid. Picture this: Prosecutor: Objection. Judge: Overruled. Prosecutor: Dad-dy! Judge: Oh, all … Continue reading
Granny stun-gunned for gathering dandelions
Martha Al-Bishara is 87 years old. Came from Syria 22 years ago. Worked on farm. Became citizen. Lives in Chatsworth, Georgia. Walks across street to vacant lot to gather dandelion greens for salad. Has small kitchen knife. Vacant lot is … Continue reading
Posted in Law & Parody
2 Comments
Albany prosecutor fired for secretly writing defense briefs
Defense lawyer Cheryl Coleman thought it was a brilliant idea to hire her local Assistant District Attorney – the aptly named Steve Sharp – to write her criminal appeals on the QT. For years, Sharp and Coleman regularly appeared against … Continue reading
