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These days, what passes for youthful rebellion is diapered infants banging their spoons on their highchairs.
Today’s Quote
“Everyone is entitled to their own opinion, but not to their own facts.” Senator Daniel Moynihan
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Recent Posts
- Queens judges say the darndest things
- Granny stun-gunned for gathering dandelions
- Albany prosecutor fired for secretly writing defense briefs
- Masterpiece Cakeshop refuses birthday cake for Satan
- How to get judges to read your brief
- Linda Fairstein: Central Park Five guilty as charged
- Sentencing Sheldon Silver
- The ban on “sex offender” art
- Criminal defense vs. “social justice”
- Courts should take a tip from the Dept. of Agriculture
- The ACLU uncompromisingly defends free speech — unless it’s offensive.
- Judge Bludgeon rules on cyberbullying
- Cake, religion and Summa [obscenity deleted] Laude
- Stalkers of Lady Justice
- Quality clobbering at Rikers
- “The Constitution does not require Florida to join New York in la-la-land.”
- OMG!! What’s so reliable about excited utterance?
- Exiled statues find asylum in Green-Wood Cemetery
- The Court of Appeals believes the victim (even when the jury doesn’t)
- “Thrusting counsel upon the accused against his considered wish”
- Bronx judge finds solution to trial delays: eliminate attorneys
- Appellate Squawk celebrates National Poetry Month
- The ultimate bail reform: shoot the client
- Relax, baby, I’m gay.
- Deadly meteor expected to demolish Earth any minute
- Appellate Squawk’s Radiant Institute of Continuing Legal Education
- ICE, ICE, baby!*
- Punch & Judy’s easy answers to everything
- Trigger warnings for courtrooms
- Guv to judges: want a raise? get to work on time.
- Seven words to be banned in court
- The Case of Masterpiece Cakeshop
- “Appearing in court isn’t supposed to be fun.”
- Maestro James Levine
- “What cross-race charge? What are you talking about?”
- Court admits expert water-dunking testimony as relevant, helpful to jury.
- Chief Judge orders prosecutors not to be crooked and defense lawyers not to be incompetent
- “Hands up, motherf*cker! This is a request for information!”
- “Give me a lawyer, dawg.”
- President Trump takes to the street
- Squawk is interrogated
- Privacy for me but not for thee
- Let’s remove offensive statues from Central Park
- When is parody a crime? When nobody gets it.
- Thoughtfully prosecuting your client
- Law vs. Science
- Searching for the right court for your appeal? View these 521 customer reviews.
- Is a lawyer a “significant individual”? Court says nix.
- Squawk has been ungood
- Police Commissioner announces new anti-spitting technology
- Follow Appellate Squawk on WordPress.com
Category Archives: Law & Parody
Queens judges say the darndest things
Welcome to Queens, birthplace of the Mets, Weight Watchers and President Trump. Where, if you’re on trial for a crime, the prosecutor is likely to be the judge’s kid. Picture this: Prosecutor: Objection. Judge: Overruled. Prosecutor: Dad-dy! Judge: Oh, all … Continue reading
Granny stun-gunned for gathering dandelions
Martha Al-Bishara is 87 years old. Came from Syria 22 years ago. Worked on farm. Became citizen. Lives in Chatsworth, Georgia. Walks across street to vacant lot to gather dandelion greens for salad. Has small kitchen knife. Vacant lot is … Continue reading
Posted in Law & Parody
1 Comment
Albany prosecutor fired for secretly writing defense briefs
Defense lawyer Cheryl Coleman thought it was a brilliant idea to hire her local Assistant District Attorney – the aptly named Steve Sharp – to write her criminal appeals on the QT. For years, Sharp and Coleman regularly appeared against … Continue reading
How to get judges to read your brief
Judge Saxe is at it again, handing out more smug advice about appellate briefwriting. “The reply brief is an important document,” he intones. It’s “the last word” that the judges will read. It should consist of “short, declarative, punchy sentences.” Based on “abundant … Continue reading
Posted in Criminal Defense Appeals, Judges, Law & Parody, Satire and parody
Tagged Appellate advocacy, Justice Ginsberg
8 Comments
Criminal defense vs. “social justice”
A recent communiqué from HR casually let fall that we’re now a “social justice organization” dedicated to the interests of “the most vulnerable.” And all these years we thought we were a public defender! We feel like the hero of Kafka’s … Continue reading
Posted in Civil Liberties, Law & Parody, Satire and parody
22 Comments
Courts should take a tip from the Dept. of Agriculture
Reasonable people can disagree about GMO (genetically modified organism) food production. You can take the word of the multi-billion dollar agrichemical behemoths like Monsanto who deny its damaging effects on the environment, human health and the livelihoods of farmers and who go to … Continue reading
Judge Bludgeon rules on cyberbullying
Back in the days of the Roman Empire, the mad Emperor Caligula had the penal code placed at the top of a tall column in the Forum. Judges soon got tired of shinnying up and down whenever they had to … Continue reading
Posted in Criminal law, Law & Parody
3 Comments
