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Judge Wool says
“There’s something scary about stupidity made coherent.” — Tom Stoppard, “The Real Thing.”
- “The Constitution does not require Florida to join New York in la-la-land.”
- OMG!! What’s so reliable about excited utterance?
- Exiled statues find asylum in Green-Wood Cemetery
- The Court of Appeals believes the victim (even when the jury doesn’t)
- “Thrusting counsel upon the accused against his considered wish”
- Bronx judge finds solution to trial delays: eliminate attorneys
- Appellate Squawk celebrates National Poetry Month
- The ultimate bail reform: shoot the client
- Relax, baby, I’m gay.
- Deadly meteor expected to demolish Earth any minute
- Appellate Squawk’s Radiant Institute of Continuing Legal Education
- ICE, ICE, baby!*
- Punch & Judy’s easy answers to everything
- Trigger warnings for courtrooms
- Guv to judges: want a raise? get to work on time.
- Seven words to be banned in court
- The Case of Masterpiece Cakeshop
- “Appearing in court isn’t supposed to be fun.”
- Maestro James Levine
- “What cross-race charge? What are you talking about?”
- Court admits expert water-dunking testimony as relevant, helpful to jury.
- Chief Judge orders prosecutors not to be crooked and defense lawyers not to be incompetent
- “Hands up, motherf*cker! This is a request for information!”
- “Give me a lawyer, dawg.”
- President Trump takes to the street
- Squawk is interrogated
- Privacy for me but not for thee
- Let’s remove offensive statues from Central Park
- When is parody a crime? When nobody gets it.
- Thoughtfully prosecuting your client
- Law vs. Science
- Searching for the right court for your appeal? View these 521 customer reviews.
- Is a lawyer a “significant individual”? Court says nix.
- Squawk has been ungood
- Police Commissioner announces new anti-spitting technology
- “The War on Sex”
- Are you a cissy?
- Powerpoint for the defense
- Prosecutor Powerpoint and Wigmore’s horse
- In memory of Dennis Murphy, public defender
- When is a trial not a trial? When there’s no jury.
- How to describe judicial decisionmaking without being held in contempt
- The Court of Appeals rules on SORA
- From the archives: Judge Rakoff on graffiti and Oedipus Rex
- Lunar New Year message: take a tip from the fish
- DOJ recommends new photo array procedures: no hints allowed.
- Buttering up the judge
- Judge Saxe tells all
- Happy New Year from the compassionate NYPD
- Santa Claus is Level 3
- Follow Appellate Squawk on WordPress.com
Category Archives: Satire and parody
Whenever a court invokes the old saw that constitutional rights can’t be stopped at the prison gate, it’s even money that the decision will do exactly that. The latest is the 11th Circuit’s upholding of the Florida Department of Corrections’ … Continue reading
“We understand that even the thought of an individual coming to campus with the views that Mr. Shapiro [a twerpy conservative political commentator] expresses can be concerning and even hurtful and that’s why we wanted to make you aware as … Continue reading
The Chief Judge adopted the “groundbreaking recommendation” of the NY State Justice Task Force Report that from Jan. 1, all New York State trial judges must issue an order in every criminal case directing prosecutors to disclose evidence helpful to the … Continue reading
We donated a dollar and he blew us a kiss. P.S. Squawk has gone legit! See us in “The Crime Report,” the online zine of John Jay College of Criminal Justice.
Lenny Bruce complained that cops would go to his show, write down every word of his routine and then read it aloud in the Grand Jury, completely ruining his lines. Although not remotely in the league of that great iconoclast, we … Continue reading
Inspired by a recent video of students pulling down, kicking and spitting on a statue of a Confederate soldier, we took a tour of inspection to similarly purge Central Park. The first offender we came across was Alice in Wonderland: … Continue reading