Category Archives: Satire and parody

The Busywork Conspiracy

How come whenever they tell you, “We’re moving into the 21st Century,” it means more forms to fill out, more “reminders” maddeningly blinking on your screen, “updated” computer programs that take five steps to do what used to take a … Continue reading

Posted in Satire and parody | 3 Comments

Fox snarls at pursuing hounds, is shot for bullying behavior

In another victory for “the offended” over our blog post from two years ago, Are You a Cissy? the boss has condemned us to a course of treatment by Corporate Counseling Associates (“CCA”).  The boss has now added “bullying” to our … Continue reading

Posted in Civil Liberties, Satire and parody | Tagged | 3 Comments

“Justice in every borough”

The other day we were glumly printing out a closing letter to a client: “Court of Appeals denied leave . . . end of the line. . .  wishing you the best for the future,” when we noticed something new on … Continue reading

Posted in Criminal Defense Appeals, Satire and parody | 2 Comments

Prison Sex Offender Treatment vs. The Fifth

 Remember the Inquisition where you could either deny your guilt and get burned at the stake, or confess and get burned at the stake? The idea was that since confessing saves you from eternal damnation, the Inquisition was simply a … Continue reading

Posted in Prisoners' rights, Satire and parody, Satirical cartoons, sex offenders | Tagged , , | 4 Comments

What is ineffective assistance of appellate counsel?

Ye blind guides, which strain at a gnat and swallow a camel. — Matthew 23: 24. In an unusual burst of candor, New York’s highest court recently confessed to what we’ve always suspected: if your appeal is a loser, it … Continue reading

Posted in Criminal Defense Appeals, Law & Parody, Satire and parody | 5 Comments

At the movies: Woman at War

What should you do when your boss wants to fire you, you can’t get your old job back at Dairy Queen, and your retirement savings are good for the rest of your life provided you drop dead pretty soon? Answer: … Continue reading

Posted in Satire and parody, Satirical cartoons | Tagged , , | 1 Comment

Are your politics acceptable to your cabdriver?

Our fictitious hero Rumpole of the Bailey liked to say that a public defender is “a taxi plying for hire,” bluntly explaining to his clients that he was “duty bound to take on any client, however repellent.” But his taxi metaphor … Continue reading

Posted in Civil Liberties, Satire and parody | 1 Comment

How to get judges to read your brief

Judge Saxe is at it again, handing out more smug advice about appellate briefwriting.  “The reply brief is an important document,” he intones.  It’s “the last word” that the judges will read. It should consist of “short, declarative, punchy sentences.” Based on “abundant … Continue reading

Posted in Criminal Defense Appeals, Judges, Law & Parody, Satire and parody | Tagged , | 9 Comments

The ban on “sex offender” art

“Leaving the artwork up could serve as a trigger for our students and staff who have been victims of child abuse and sexual assault. Since the display is at the campus main entrance where our students and staff are required … Continue reading

Posted in Civil Liberties, Satire and parody, SORA | 14 Comments

Criminal defense vs. “social justice”

A recent communiqué from HR casually let fall that we’re now a “social justice organization” dedicated to the interests of “the most vulnerable.” And all these years we thought we were a public defender! We feel like the hero of Kafka’s … Continue reading

Posted in Civil Liberties, Law & Parody, Satire and parody | 22 Comments

Courts should take a tip from the Dept. of Agriculture

Reasonable people can disagree about GMO (genetically modified organism) food production. You can take the word of the multi-billion dollar agrichemical behemoths like Monsanto who deny its damaging effects on the environment, human health and the livelihoods of farmers and who go to … Continue reading

Posted in Humor, Law & Parody, Satire and parody | Tagged , | 2 Comments

The ACLU uncompromisingly defends free speech — unless it’s offensive.

Why is everybody so down on the poor old ACLU just because of an internal memo proclaiming its zealous defense of free speech unless it offends vulnerable and marginalized minorities?  Even the NY Post joined the affray, moaning, “ACLU Stops Caring About Free … Continue reading

Posted in Civil Liberties, First Amendment, Satire and parody | Tagged | 9 Comments

“The Constitution does not require Florida to join New York in la-la-land.”

Whenever a court invokes the old saw that constitutional rights can’t be stopped at the prison gate, it’s even money that the decision will do exactly that. The latest is the 11th Circuit’s upholding of the Florida Department of Corrections’ … Continue reading

Posted in First Amendment, Prisoners' rights, Satire and parody | Tagged , , | 1 Comment

Punch & Judy’s easy answers to everything

Posted in Satire and parody, Satirical cartoons | 3 Comments

Trigger warnings for courtrooms

“We understand that even the thought of an individual coming to campus with the views that Mr. Shapiro [a twerpy  conservative political commentator] expresses can be concerning and even hurtful and that’s why we wanted to make you aware as … Continue reading

Posted in Criminal procedure, Law & Parody, Satire and parody | Tagged , , | 5 Comments

Chief Judge orders prosecutors not to be crooked and defense lawyers not to be incompetent

The Chief Judge adopted the “groundbreaking recommendation” of the  NY State Justice Task Force Report  that from Jan. 1,  all New York State trial judges must issue an order in every criminal case directing prosecutors to disclose evidence helpful to the … Continue reading

Posted in Criminal Defense Appeals, Law & Parody, Satire and parody, Satirical cartoons | Tagged | Leave a comment

President Trump takes to the street

We donated a dollar and he blew us a kiss. P.S. Squawk has gone legit! See us in “The Crime Report,” the online zine of John Jay College of Criminal Justice.    

Posted in Humor, Law & Parody, Satire and parody | Tagged | Leave a comment

Squawk is interrogated

Lenny Bruce complained that cops would go to his show, write down every word of his routine and then read it aloud in the Grand Jury, completely ruining his lines. Although not remotely in the league of that great iconoclast, we … Continue reading

Posted in Civil Liberties, Humor, Satire and parody | 16 Comments

Let’s remove offensive statues from Central Park

Inspired by a recent video of students pulling down, kicking and spitting on a statue of a Confederate soldier, we took a tour of inspection to similarly purge Central Park.  The first offender we came across was Alice in Wonderland: … Continue reading

Posted in Satire and parody | 5 Comments