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Today’s Quote
“On the Day of Judgment I shall probably be up on my hind legs putting a few impertinent questions to the Prosecution.” — Rumpole of the Bailey.
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Recent Posts
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- Ineffective Assistance of Counsel, Aussie Style
- Being fair to Fairstein
- The solution to courtroom delays: hockey pucks
- Are your politics acceptable to your cabdriver?
- How to keep your employees safe and happy: give them guns for Christmas
- Everything you’ve ever wanted to say to a judge but had sense enough not to.
- The Presumption of Innocence, “Sleeping on One’s Rights” and Fundamental Fairness
- New labels for old
- Judge Kavanaugh’s crickets
- Queens judges say the darndest things
- Granny stun-gunned for gathering dandelions
- Albany prosecutor fired for secretly writing defense briefs
- Masterpiece Cakeshop refuses birthday cake for Satan
- How to get judges to read your brief
- Linda Fairstein: Central Park Five guilty as charged
- Sentencing Sheldon Silver
- The ban on “sex offender” art
- Criminal defense vs. “social justice”
- Courts should take a tip from the Dept. of Agriculture
- The ACLU uncompromisingly defends free speech — unless it’s offensive.
- Judge Bludgeon rules on cyberbullying
- Cake, religion and Summa [obscenity deleted] Laude
- Stalkers of Lady Justice
- Quality clobbering at Rikers
- “The Constitution does not require Florida to join New York in la-la-land.”
- OMG!! What’s so reliable about excited utterance?
- Exiled statues find asylum in Green-Wood Cemetery
- The Court of Appeals believes the victim (even when the jury doesn’t)
- “Thrusting counsel upon the accused against his considered wish”
- Bronx judge finds solution to trial delays: eliminate attorneys
- Appellate Squawk celebrates National Poetry Month
- The ultimate bail reform: shoot the client
- Relax, baby, I’m gay.
- Deadly meteor expected to demolish Earth any minute
- Appellate Squawk’s Radiant Institute of Continuing Legal Education
- ICE, ICE, baby!*
- Punch & Judy’s easy answers to everything
- Trigger warnings for courtrooms
- Guv to judges: want a raise? get to work on time.
- Seven words to be banned in court
- The Case of Masterpiece Cakeshop
- “Appearing in court isn’t supposed to be fun.”
- Maestro James Levine
- “What cross-race charge? What are you talking about?”
- Court admits expert water-dunking testimony as relevant, helpful to jury.
- Chief Judge orders prosecutors not to be crooked and defense lawyers not to be incompetent
- “Hands up, motherf*cker! This is a request for information!”
- “Give me a lawyer, dawg.”
- President Trump takes to the street
- Follow Appellate Squawk on WordPress.com
Category Archives: Satire and parody
Are your politics acceptable to your cabdriver?
Our fictitious hero Rumpole of the Bailey liked to say that a public defender is “a taxi plying for hire,” bluntly explaining to his clients that he was “duty bound to take on any client, however repellent.” But his taxi metaphor … Continue reading
Posted in Civil Liberties, Satire and parody
1 Comment
How to get judges to read your brief
Judge Saxe is at it again, handing out more smug advice about appellate briefwriting. “The reply brief is an important document,” he intones. It’s “the last word” that the judges will read. It should consist of “short, declarative, punchy sentences.” Based on “abundant … Continue reading
Posted in Criminal Defense Appeals, Judges, Law & Parody, Satire and parody
Tagged Appellate advocacy, Justice Ginsberg
8 Comments
The ban on “sex offender” art
“Leaving the artwork up could serve as a trigger for our students and staff who have been victims of child abuse and sexual assault. Since the display is at the campus main entrance where our students and staff are required … Continue reading
Posted in Civil Liberties, Satire and parody, SORA
13 Comments
Criminal defense vs. “social justice”
A recent communiqué from HR casually let fall that we’re now a “social justice organization” dedicated to the interests of “the most vulnerable.” And all these years we thought we were a public defender! We feel like the hero of Kafka’s … Continue reading
Posted in Civil Liberties, Law & Parody, Satire and parody
22 Comments
Courts should take a tip from the Dept. of Agriculture
Reasonable people can disagree about GMO (genetically modified organism) food production. You can take the word of the multi-billion dollar agrichemical behemoths like Monsanto who deny its damaging effects on the environment, human health and the livelihoods of farmers and who go to … Continue reading
The ACLU uncompromisingly defends free speech — unless it’s offensive.
Why is everybody so down on the poor old ACLU just because of an internal memo proclaiming its zealous defense of free speech unless it offends vulnerable and marginalized minorities? Even the NY Post joined the affray, moaning, “ACLU Stops Caring About Free … Continue reading
“The Constitution does not require Florida to join New York in la-la-land.”
Whenever a court invokes the old saw that constitutional rights can’t be stopped at the prison gate, it’s even money that the decision will do exactly that. The latest is the 11th Circuit’s upholding of the Florida Department of Corrections’ … Continue reading
