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If the facts don't fit "the narrative," too bad for the facts.
Today’s Quote
The Penal Law is not a book of etiquette. — People v. Hogan (dismissing harassment charge against defendant for calling his wife a fucking bitch during quarrel).
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Recent Posts
- Squawk goes to Washington
- “Justice in every borough”
- Big Brother remembers your face
- Prison Sex Offender Treatment vs. The Fifth
- Easter Bunny convicted of kidnapping, trafficking
- Is it legal to threaten to behead the Chief Clerk of the Court?
- What is ineffective assistance of appellate counsel?
- At the movies: Woman at War
- Squawk is condemned
- Justice Thomas decries Court’s latest “defendant-always-wins” rule
- Let’s make suppression hearings great again!
- Chief to judges: dissent at your own risk.
- Is a trial a search for the truth?
- Ineffective Assistance of Counsel, Aussie Style
- Being fair to Fairstein
- The solution to courtroom delays: hockey pucks
- Are your politics acceptable to your cabdriver?
- How to keep your employees safe and happy: give them guns for Christmas
- Everything you’ve ever wanted to say to a judge but had sense enough not to.
- The Presumption of Innocence, “Sleeping on One’s Rights” and Fundamental Fairness
- New labels for old
- Judge Kavanaugh’s crickets
- Queens judges say the darndest things
- Granny stun-gunned for gathering dandelions
- Albany prosecutor fired for secretly writing defense briefs
- Masterpiece Cakeshop refuses birthday cake for Satan
- How to get judges to read your brief
- Linda Fairstein: Central Park Five guilty as charged
- Sentencing Sheldon Silver
- The ban on “sex offender” art
- Criminal defense vs. “social justice”
- Courts should take a tip from the Dept. of Agriculture
- The ACLU uncompromisingly defends free speech — unless it’s offensive.
- Judge Bludgeon rules on cyberbullying
- Cake, religion and Summa [obscenity deleted] Laude
- Stalkers of Lady Justice
- Quality clobbering at Rikers
- “The Constitution does not require Florida to join New York in la-la-land.”
- OMG!! What’s so reliable about excited utterance?
- Exiled statues find asylum in Green-Wood Cemetery
- The Court of Appeals believes the victim (even when the jury doesn’t)
- “Thrusting counsel upon the accused against his considered wish”
- Bronx judge finds solution to trial delays: eliminate attorneys
- Appellate Squawk celebrates National Poetry Month
- The ultimate bail reform: shoot the client
- Relax, baby, I’m gay.
- Deadly meteor expected to demolish Earth any minute
- Appellate Squawk’s Radiant Institute of Continuing Legal Education
- ICE, ICE, baby!*
- Punch & Judy’s easy answers to everything
- Follow Appellate Squawk on WordPress.com
Tag Archives: Appellate advocacy
How to get judges to read your brief
Judge Saxe is at it again, handing out more smug advice about appellate briefwriting. “The reply brief is an important document,” he intones. It’s “the last word” that the judges will read. It should consist of “short, declarative, punchy sentences.” Based on “abundant … Continue reading
Posted in Criminal Defense Appeals, Judges, Law & Parody, Satire and parody
Tagged Appellate advocacy, Justice Ginsberg
9 Comments
The “winning” brief: good writing has nothing to do with it.
Try googling or westlaw-ing “appellate advocacy” and you’ll find a ton of advice on how to write a winning brief. It’s at least as useful as those tips on how to become a millionaire by selling vitamin pills door to … Continue reading
The appellate advocacy board game
Hone your skills with the fun and educational Appellate Advocacy Board Game ™, now on sale at the Court of Appeals gift shop. Let’s roll the dice and get started! 1. Monday morning find brand new file on your desk. A 7,000-page trial … Continue reading
Posted in Criminal Defense Appeals, Humor, Law, Law & Parody, Satirical cartoons
Tagged Appellate advocacy, Appellate Division, Court reporters
7 Comments
