Tag Archives: criminal appeals

How the Appellate Division reads your brief

Posted in Humor, Judges, Law, Law & Parody, Satirical cartoons | Tagged , , , | 3 Comments

Courts to implement new Kwik-Affirm (c) software for criminal appeals

In a bold move aimed at conserving scarce judicial resources, the Appellate Division announced that its traditional rubber stamp method of deciding criminal appeals will shortly be replaced by Kwik-Affirm (c),  an innovative software program that scans entire defense briefs at … Continue reading

Posted in Criminal Defense Appeals, Law & Parody | Tagged , , , | 7 Comments

The appellate process explained

Posted in Criminal Defense Appeals, Law & Parody | Tagged , , | 1 Comment

Tips on preserving the record: put it somewhere you can find it.

Appellate squawkers are sometimes unfairly portrayed as late-rising introverts walking around mumbling “82 New York Supp Second” or “Marbury v. Madison” and looking for ways to show up trial lawyers as ineffective. Nothing could be further from the truth! Our … Continue reading

Posted in Criminal law, Law, Law & Parody | Tagged , | 1 Comment

Harmless error: what if everybody did that?

Of all the professions claiming to be based on reason rather than revelation, only law makes a positive virtue of refusing to correct its own mistakes. We love it when an appellate decision recites a string of outrageous trial errors … Continue reading

Posted in Criminal law, Law, Law & Parody | Tagged , | 3 Comments

The Appellate Division keeps it in the family

What’s so terrible about nepotism? Families have always worked together. Over at Vesuvio’s Dry Cleaners, which we occasionally entrust with our best and only suit, Mrs. Vesuvio regularly mans the counter whenever Mr. V. keels over from the fumes. At … Continue reading

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Seeing and hearing the witnesses doesn’t make the jury more reliable

  If we had a nickel for every appellate decision affirming a dodgy verdict with the excuse that “we decline to substitute our judgment for that of the jury which saw and heard the witnesses,” we’d have – well, a … Continue reading

Posted in Criminal law, Law, Law & Parody | Tagged , , , , , | 1 Comment

So you want to file a federal habeas?

Every now and then we take a break from our parking ticket litigation practice and attempt a federal habe, “the great and efficacious Writ in all manner of illegal confinement.” We duly identified a conscience-shocking constitutional violation, read every Supreme … Continue reading

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