Tag Archives: Law & Parody

The naughty/nice hearings

Scene: The Santa Clause Courtroom, Santa, J. presiding. For the defense: Dasher, Dancer, Prancer, Vixen. For the prosecution: Comet, Cupid, Donner, Blixen. Clerk: Number 2, 457, 278,970 on the calendar, Stinky K.  Santa: This is a determination as to whether Stinky K. … Continue reading

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Oral argument: a missing of minds

If you’re looking for truly cutting-edge experimental film, we suggest watching oral argument on closed-circuit t.v. at the Appellate Division, an alternative venue yet undiscovered by your nose-ring-wearing friends. The Second Department (they try harder) features a wide video screen, … Continue reading

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Planned service changes in the courts

“Planned service changes,” as all New Yorkers know, is the MTA’s way of saying “no trains all weekend.” Now planned service changes are being announced by the NY state courts (“Painful but Unavoidable: Courts Trim Jobs,” NYLJ 5/19/11). Long lines … Continue reading

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Your copy machine never forgets

We recently learned to our horror that all digital copy machines contain hard drives that remember everything they copy. A 5-minute CBS documentary on Google, entitled “Copy Machines, a Security Risk,” shows news investigators buying second-hand copiers from a warehouse … Continue reading

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Faith-based prosecutions with DNA

The first recorded murder prosecution was brought by God who, without so much as a Miranda warning, asked Cain where his brother was, knowing full well that Abel had been found dead under suspicious circumstances. Like many of our clients, … Continue reading

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The Appellate Division keeps it in the family

What’s so terrible about nepotism? Families have always worked together. Over at Vesuvio’s Dry Cleaners, which we occasionally entrust with our best and only suit, Mrs. Vesuvio regularly mans the counter whenever Mr. V. keels over from the fumes. At … Continue reading

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Solons propose animal abusers registry (for real)

Cruelty to animals is a terrible thing, but we’re mystified by the bill before the Legislature proposing a SORA-equivalent registry for “animal abusers,” i.e., persons convicted of an offense under “Buster’s Law,” popularly known as Agricultural and Markets Law 353-a. … Continue reading

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