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Judge Wool says
“Sorry for the inconvenience, but we’re fighting for survival.” Signs displayed by protesters at Hong Kong airport.
- Putting the brakes on “victims’ rights”
- Maestro James Levine (somewhat) rehabilitated
- The Compulsory Program Mystique
- Fox snarls at pursuing hounds, is shot for bullying behavior
- “Pray for Trump”
- Squawk gets kicked off jury duty, is astonished.
- Supreme Court to Patent Office: Don’t FUCT with the 1st Amendment
- Squawk goes to Washington
- “Justice in every borough”
- Big Brother remembers your face
- Prison Sex Offender Treatment vs. The Fifth
- Easter Bunny convicted of kidnapping, trafficking
- Is it legal to threaten to behead the Chief Clerk of the Court?
- What is ineffective assistance of appellate counsel?
- At the movies: Woman at War
- Squawk is condemned
- Justice Thomas decries Court’s latest “defendant-always-wins” rule
- Let’s make suppression hearings great again!
- Chief to judges: dissent at your own risk.
- Is a trial a search for the truth?
- Ineffective Assistance of Counsel, Aussie Style
- Being fair to Fairstein
- The solution to courtroom delays: hockey pucks
- Are your politics acceptable to your cabdriver?
- How to keep your employees safe and happy: give them guns for Christmas
- Everything you’ve ever wanted to say to a judge but had sense enough not to.
- The Presumption of Innocence, “Sleeping on One’s Rights” and Fundamental Fairness
- New labels for old
- Judge Kavanaugh’s crickets
- Queens judges say the darndest things
- Granny stun-gunned for gathering dandelions
- Albany prosecutor fired for secretly writing defense briefs
- Masterpiece Cakeshop refuses birthday cake for Satan
- How to get judges to read your brief
- Linda Fairstein: Central Park Five guilty as charged
- Sentencing Sheldon Silver
- The ban on “sex offender” art
- Criminal defense vs. “social justice”
- Courts should take a tip from the Dept. of Agriculture
- The ACLU uncompromisingly defends free speech — unless it’s offensive.
- Judge Bludgeon rules on cyberbullying
- Cake, religion and Summa [obscenity deleted] Laude
- Stalkers of Lady Justice
- Quality clobbering at Rikers
- “The Constitution does not require Florida to join New York in la-la-land.”
- OMG!! What’s so reliable about excited utterance?
- Exiled statues find asylum in Green-Wood Cemetery
- The Court of Appeals believes the victim (even when the jury doesn’t)
- “Thrusting counsel upon the accused against his considered wish”
- Bronx judge finds solution to trial delays: eliminate attorneys
- Follow Appellate Squawk on WordPress.com
Tag Archives: Law & Parody
Scene: The Santa Clause Courtroom, Santa, J. presiding. For the defense: Dasher, Dancer, Prancer, Vixen. For the prosecution: Comet, Cupid, Donner, Blixen. Clerk: Number 2, 457, 278,970 on the calendar, Stinky K. Santa: This is a determination as to whether Stinky K. … Continue reading
If you’re looking for truly cutting-edge experimental film, we suggest watching oral argument on closed-circuit t.v. at the Appellate Division, an alternative venue yet undiscovered by your nose-ring-wearing friends. The Second Department (they try harder) features a wide video screen, … Continue reading
“Planned service changes,” as all New Yorkers know, is the MTA’s way of saying “no trains all weekend.” Now planned service changes are being announced by the NY state courts (“Painful but Unavoidable: Courts Trim Jobs,” NYLJ 5/19/11). Long lines … Continue reading
We recently learned to our horror that all digital copy machines contain hard drives that remember everything they copy. A 5-minute CBS documentary on Google, entitled “Copy Machines, a Security Risk,” shows news investigators buying second-hand copiers from a warehouse … Continue reading
The first recorded murder prosecution was brought by God who, without so much as a Miranda warning, asked Cain where his brother was, knowing full well that Abel had been found dead under suspicious circumstances. Like many of our clients, … Continue reading
What’s so terrible about nepotism? Families have always worked together. Over at Vesuvio’s Dry Cleaners, which we occasionally entrust with our best and only suit, Mrs. Vesuvio regularly mans the counter whenever Mr. V. keels over from the fumes. At … Continue reading
Cruelty to animals is a terrible thing, but we’re mystified by the bill before the Legislature proposing a SORA-equivalent registry for “animal abusers,” i.e., persons convicted of an offense under “Buster’s Law,” popularly known as Agricultural and Markets Law 353-a. … Continue reading