Tag Archives: NY Court of Appeals

COVID-19 masks for judges

From a social distance of 150 miles away, we watched NY’s highest state court judges marching into the courtroom to hear oral argument in the flesh for the first time since the COVID-19 lockdown. All wearing identical light blue face … Continue reading

Posted in Humor, Judges, Law & Parody, Satirical cartoons | Tagged | 1 Comment

Hell hath no fury like a client scorned

After 3 months of COVID-19 “pause,” the NY Court of Appeals has announced a return to hearing oral arguments in the flesh “with appropriate safety protocols.” We envision them hanging batlike from the ceiling. A couple of lawfirm biggies applauded … Continue reading

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Must be true, says so right here in the Probation Report

Who needs satire when we have the news? The world closing down around us, Governor Cuomo proudly shilling a hand sanitizer for being cheaper than Brand X and smelling like tulips (the hand sanitizer, that is). Brought to us by … Continue reading

Posted in Law & Parody | Tagged , , , , | 1 Comment

OMG!! What’s so reliable about excited utterance?

The excited utterance exception to the rule against hearsay “rests on no firmer ground than judicial habit, in turn reflecting judicial incuriosity and reluctance to consider ancient dogmas.” — Judge Posner, 7th Cir. According to ancient dogmas, the stress of … Continue reading

Posted in Criminal procedure, Law & Parody, Satirical cartoons | Tagged , , , | 3 Comments

The Court of Appeals believes the victim (even when the jury doesn’t)

Comes now New York’s highest court with the holding that an accuser’s trial testimony constitutes clear and convincing evidence of the truth of her accusations, even though the jury found her not credible and acquitted the defendant of those charges.  In … Continue reading

Posted in Law, Law & Parody, Satirical cartoons, SORA | Tagged , | 11 Comments

“Thrusting counsel upon the accused against his considered wish”

The Constitution forbids “thrust[ing] counsel upon the accused against his considered wish.”  — Faretta v. California (US 1975). The right to self-representation embodies one of the most cherished ideals of our culture: the right of an individual to determine his own … Continue reading

Posted in Criminal procedure, Law & Parody, Satirical cartoons | Tagged | 3 Comments

Court of Appeals to Squawk: Drop Dead

Sigh. Another drop-dead letter from the NY Court of Appeals, the second one this week.  The first denied leave to appeal where our client got 107 years after a trial that he spent mostly down in the courthouse pens because … Continue reading

Posted in Criminal Defense Appeals, Criminal law, Judges, Law, SORA | Tagged , | 1 Comment

JUDGE WOOL TAPPED FOR HIGH COURT CHIEF, VOWS REVERSAL QUOTAS

The Governor stunned friend and foe alike today by announcing an unprecedented about-face in his pick for Chief Judge of the Court of Appeals, ditching former nominee Suburbia County District Attorney Flowerpot and giving the nod to Judge Wool. “Judge … Continue reading

Posted in Humor, Judges, Law & Parody, Satirical cartoons | Tagged , | 4 Comments

Videotaping Interrogations: The Court of Appeals Blows It

  Ten years ago the Massachusetts high court, fed up with hearing “repeated pronouncements” about the fabulous benefits of recording police interrogations, decided to do something about it. Commonwealth v. DiGiambattista (2004).  Cops don’t record interrogations? Fine. But if the … Continue reading

Posted in Criminal law, False confessions, Humor, Judges, Law, Law & Parody, Satirical cartoons | Tagged , , , | 1 Comment

The Court of Appeals gets righteous

The Sex Offender Registration Act (SORA), like the Emperor’s New Clothes, is nonsense perpetrated in the name of superior wisdom. It creates a permanent underclass of “sex offenders,” defined as anyone convicted of an offense from a list that includes … Continue reading

Posted in Civil Liberties, Satirical cartoons, SORA | Tagged , , , , | 3 Comments

Cop gets booboo, client gets 5 years

We’ve just lost another appeal where the cops, confronted with an argumentative citizen, immediately resorted to the persuasive power of fists and handcuffs. Returning to their patrol car emblazoned with the NYPD slogan, “Professionalism Courtesy Respect,” they found that their … Continue reading

Posted in Civil Liberties, Criminal Defense Appeals, Criminal law, Humor, Law, Law & Parody, Satirical cartoons | Tagged , , , | 5 Comments

The immortal NY Court of Appeals

Judges, like boxers, are loath to give up the adulation that comes with the job, not to mention the pleasure of reducing others to a pulp.  Recently Judge Smith of the Albany Supremes came out with an Op Ed piece  in the … Continue reading

Posted in Criminal Defense Appeals, Law & Parody | Tagged , , | 1 Comment

The court interpreter knows the witness? No problem.

One of the many contradictions in the American Way of Life is that although every cabdriver speaks at least 3 languages (though not necessarily English),  the Captains of the Bench tend to be monolingual. A few weeks ago, we watched … Continue reading

Posted in Criminal law, Law, Law & Parody | Tagged , , , | 5 Comments

Demolishing the 4th Amendment

In response to decades of complaints that the Fourth Amendment is a hazardous eyesore that lowers property values, hinders the nation’s competitiveness in the global market and endangers little children, a coalition of NY courts and law enforcement groups announced … Continue reading

Posted in Civil Liberties, Criminal Defense Appeals, Criminal law, Law, Law & Parody | Tagged , , | 1 Comment

Judge Wool’s 2012 Court of Appeals Highlights

Judge Wool looks back on another season of smash hits at the Court of Appeals. Here’s a sample of the 2012 highlights. Statutory construction: People v. Velez. In another round of judge-forgot-to-mention-post-release-supervision cases, the Court held that just because the statute gives a 40-day deadline … Continue reading

Posted in Criminal Defense Appeals, Law & Parody | Tagged , , | 1 Comment

Sexperts in the courtroom: Part 1

There’s only one person in the courtroom who’s allowed to have an aura of reliability, and you can probably guess who that is. Anybody who wants to testify about specialized knowledge is rigorously scrutinized by the judicial gatekeeper under the 12-prong orgone-kryptonite test before they’re allowed … Continue reading

Posted in Civil Liberties, Forensic "science", Law & Parody | Tagged , , , , , | 1 Comment

Judge Wool for Court of Appeals

The NY Court of Appeals makes their judges retire at 70, just when they’re beginning to get the hang of things. They’re now looking to fill the slot about to be vacated by septuagenarian Carmen Ciparick. According to the NY … Continue reading

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District Attorney Vandal tries his hand at oral argument

A few weeks ago, the Manhattan District Attorney decided to take a break from prosecuting people for taking up more than one seat in the subway and drop into New York’s highest court for a spot of oral argument. He had … Continue reading

Posted in Civil Liberties, Criminal law, Law & Parody | Tagged , | Leave a comment

Viewing the evidence in the light most favorable to the People

We recently learned a new expression from a psych expert: “Doesn’t operationalize.” It’s a tactful alternative to calling something a complete fraud, as in, “A rabbit’s foot keychain doesn’t operationalize its claim to ensure optimal quality of life when there’s … Continue reading

Posted in Criminal law, Law & Parody | Tagged , , | 5 Comments

Judge Wool’s 2011 roundup

The Honorable Judge Wool of the former Court of Utterances and Nuisances is a frequent contributor to these pages, although in his opinion, unfairly marginalized (See “Judge Wool Says” at right). The Sycophant Bar Association, mistaking him for Judge Wood of … Continue reading

Posted in Criminal law, Law, Law & Parody | Tagged , , | 2 Comments