Oral argument to be replaced by Chat Bot

In the latest move towards the efficient disposal of appeals, the Administrator of Court Administrative Administration announced that all oral arguments in criminal and SORA appeals will henceforth be handled by “Affirman, the Virtual Judge.”

“This is a long overdue reform,” enthused Judge Lowcosta of the Appellate Division. “For years, we tragically overworked judges have been toiling under the crushing weight of sitting through lengthy, pointless oral arguments, all the while knowing that the decision has already been made by ChatGPT. The efficient disposal of these appeals will free the judiciary to focus exclusively on vital questions of law concerning construction contracts, divorce settlements, and ambulance pursuit.”

Chat bots are computers trained to give pre-programmed responses, a natural replacement for customer service reps and appellate judges.

Criminal defense attorneys wishing to orally argue their appeals may now simply click on the court’s home page. The judge-bot appears:

About Appellate Squawk

A satirical blog for criminal defense lawyers and their friends who won't give up without a squawk.
This entry was posted in Law & Parody. Bookmark the permalink.

2 Responses to Oral argument to be replaced by Chat Bot

  1. Anonymous says:

    You are in rare form Keep them coming Lorca. I am not a robot.


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.