Author Archives: Appellate Squawk

About Appellate Squawk

A satirical blog for criminal defense lawyers and their friends who won't give up without a squawk.

Putting the brakes on “victims’ rights”

“The Young Savages,” a 1961 movie about teenage gangs (Italo-Americans vs. Puerto Ricans), filmed on the streets of pre-gentrified New York, opens with three Italo teens killing a Puerto Rican youth who’s not only unarmed but blind. “New York is … Continue reading

Posted in Civil Liberties, Criminal law | 3 Comments

Maestro James Levine (somewhat) rehabilitated

No matter what people say, you don’t have to be a toffee-nose in a mink stole to enjoy opera.  Especially when you can spend the last week of summer watching it on HD on a giant screen outdoors in front … Continue reading

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , | 2 Comments

The Compulsory Program Mystique

It’s a well-know fact that compulsory programs (CP) originated in ancient times when God felt offended at seeing His people worshiping other gods. “Hand me a couple of thunderbolts, will you?” He said to His Angel of Communications and Human … Continue reading

Posted in Civil Liberties, Law & Parody | Tagged , | 4 Comments

Fox snarls at pursuing hounds, is shot for bullying behavior

In another victory for “the offended” over our blog post from two years ago, Are You a Cissy? the boss has condemned us to a course of treatment by Corporate Counseling Associates (“CCA”).  The boss has now added “bullying” to our … Continue reading

Posted in Civil Liberties, Satire and parody | Tagged | 3 Comments

“Pray for Trump”

A friend spotted this bumper sticker: “Pray for Trump. Psalm 109:8.” Being an alert attorney and law professor, she naturally checked the cite. The verse is: “Let his days be few and another take his office.”

Posted in Humor | Tagged | 3 Comments

Squawk gets kicked off jury duty, is astonished.

A few years ago we briefed an appeal from probably the worst trial since Sacco and Vanzetti. When Judge “This-is-MY-courtroom” Napaloni wasn’t screaming at the defendant and his lawyer, he was encouraging the prosecutor to put in outrageously prejudicial-not-remotely-probative evidence. … Continue reading

Posted in Criminal law, Law & Parody | Tagged | 3 Comments

Supreme Court to Patent Office: Don’t FUCT with the 1st Amendment

  Wanna look cool and edgy? Drive over to your local mall and buy a FUCT® t-shirt! Your friends hanging out at Shake Shack will take their noses out of their I-phones and exclaim, “Look at that viewpoint of non-compliance … Continue reading

Posted in First Amendment, satire, Supreme Court | Tagged , | 2 Comments