Author Archives: Appellate Squawk

About Appellate Squawk

A satirical blog for criminal defense lawyers and their friends who won't give up without a squawk.

The ban on “sex offender” art

“Leaving the artwork up could serve as a trigger for our students and staff who have been victims of child abuse and sexual assault. Since the display is at the campus main entrance where our students and staff are required … Continue reading

Posted in Civil Liberties, Satire and parody, SORA | 9 Comments

Criminal defense vs. “social justice”

A recent communiqué from HR casually let fall that we’re now a “social justice organization” dedicated to the interests of “the most vulnerable.” And all these years we thought we were a public defender! We feel like the hero of Kafka’s … Continue reading

Posted in Civil Liberties, Law & Parody, Satire and parody | 22 Comments

Courts should take a tip from the Dept. of Agriculture

Reasonable people can disagree about GMO (genetically modified organism) food production. You can take the word of the multi-billion dollar agrichemical behemoths like Monsanto who deny its damaging effects on the environment, human health and the livelihoods of farmers and who go to … Continue reading

Posted in Humor, Law & Parody, Satire and parody | Tagged , | 2 Comments

The ACLU uncompromisingly defends free speech — unless it’s offensive.

Why is everybody so down on the poor old ACLU just because of an internal memo proclaiming its zealous defense of free speech unless it offends vulnerable and marginalized minorities?  Even the NY Post joined the affray, moaning, “ACLU Stops Caring About Free … Continue reading

Posted in Civil Liberties, First Amendment, Satire and parody | Tagged | 9 Comments

Judge Bludgeon rules on cyberbullying

Back in the days of the Roman Empire, the mad Emperor Caligula had the penal code placed at the top of a tall column in the Forum.  Judges soon got tired of shinnying up and down whenever they had to … Continue reading

Posted in Criminal law, Law & Parody | 3 Comments

Cake, religion and Summa [obscenity deleted] Laude

We didn’t make this up: a proud mom ordered a cake to celebrate her son’s graduation “Summa Cum Laude.”  The bakery took it upon itself to eliminate the obscene word “cum,” and replace it with dashes, as shown above. Can’t … Continue reading

Posted in Civil Liberties, First Amendment | Tagged | 9 Comments

Stalkers of Lady Justice

Which of the below is not the slogan of one of the New York City District Attorney’s Offices? “Committed to Public Safety, Fairness and Equal Justice.” “Moving Justice Forward.” “Steadfast for Justice.” “To Pursue Justice.” “Pursuing Justice with Integrity.” “A Seedy … Continue reading

Posted in Law & Parody, Satirical cartoons | Tagged , | Leave a comment