Author Archives: Appellate Squawk

About Appellate Squawk

A satirical blog for criminal defense lawyers and their friends who won't give up without a squawk.

The NYC arraignment scandal: part 2

A friend wrote yesterday in The Daily News: “I am a lawyer on the front lines of the COVID-19 epidemic. I defend people in NYC who cannot afford an attorney in their criminal cases. While I am used to feeling dispensable … Continue reading

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NYC courtrooms: the arraignment scandal

One of the upsides of getting arrested in NYC is that unlike in some countries where you can moulder in jail for weeks or months before you know why, here you have to be arraigned within 24 hours. You’re given … Continue reading

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged | 10 Comments

Squawk under house arrest

Boomer Friend: Don’t worry, the virus kills mostly the elderly. Squawk: But we’re the elderly! Boomer Friend: So we are! I forgot. We feel like we’re back in 9/11 (when we were right next to the Towers).  Calling friends: “I’m alive, are … Continue reading

Posted in Law & Parody | Tagged | 3 Comments

Must be true, says so right here in the Probation Report

Who needs satire when we have the news? The world closing down around us, Governor Cuomo proudly shilling a hand sanitizer for being cheaper than Brand X and smelling like tulips (the hand sanitizer, that is). Brought to us by … Continue reading

Posted in Law & Parody | Tagged , , , , | 1 Comment

Discovery reform in Brooklyn: fuggetabout WitCom

Now that New York has adopted the radical notion that an accused should know something about the accusations before the morning of trial, prosecutors have been scrambling to get around the new discovery laws. One of which is that the … Continue reading

Posted in Criminal procedure | Tagged | 5 Comments

Happy Lunar New Year 2020: Year of the Rat

The rat is first in the Chinese Zodiac because, according to legend, he was the first to arrive at the Jade Emperor’s party (and probably the last to leave). Despite pervasive negative stereotypes, rats have many admirable qualities.  They’re clever and sociable, … Continue reading

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The Sex Offender Bus

Last week the Guv issued a proposal to fix NYC’s crummy public transport by banning Level 3 sex offenders from using it.  This is apparently aimed at guys on crowded subways who can’t keep their hands and other appendages to themselves. Well, … Continue reading

Posted in Law & Parody, Satirical cartoons, SORA | Tagged , | 2 Comments