Author Archives: Appellate Squawk

About Appellate Squawk

A satirical blog for criminal defense lawyers and their friends who won't give up without a squawk.

When is a trial not a trial? When there’s no jury.

We recently briefed a case where the judge took the bench after the lunch break and announced, “The Court has arrived at a verdict.  The verdict is –,” until the parties frantically stopped her. The trial hadn’t finished yet!  She … Continue reading

Posted in Criminal law, Judges, Law & Parody, Satirical cartoons | Tagged | 2 Comments

How to describe judicial decisionmaking without being held in contempt

The biggest challenge of appellate writing is figuring out how to convey without actually saying so that the trial judge was an uninformed barnacle.  Especially when the standard of review is that the judge is always right.  The appellate squawker … Continue reading

Posted in Criminal Defense Appeals, Humor, Judges, Law & Parody, Satirical cartoons | Tagged | 3 Comments

The Court of Appeals rules on SORA


Posted in Civil Liberties, Law & Parody, Satirical cartoons, SORA | 3 Comments

From the archives: Judge Rakoff on graffiti and Oedipus Rex

From “The Villager,” August 24, 2005 Chelsea graffiti party Federal Judge Jed S. Rakoff on Monday ordered the Bloomberg administration to reinstate a permit for a Wed. Aug. 24 Chelsea block party featuring the painting of graffiti on mock subway … Continue reading

Posted in Humor, Judges | 1 Comment

Lunar New Year message: take a tip from the fish

This week we’ve been poking around Manhattan’s Chinatown celebrating the Year of the Rooster.                             “Sometimes your destiny needs to be spelled out.”  Fish were everywhere.    … Continue reading

Posted in Law & Parody | Tagged , , | 1 Comment

DOJ recommends new photo array procedures: no hints allowed.

The U.S. Department of Justice has issued new recommendations  for photo arrays – when cops show a witness the suspect’s photo along with photos of five other guys and ask which one is the perp.  The DOJ thinks it would look … Continue reading

Posted in Criminal law, eyewitness identification, Humor, Law & Parody, Satirical cartoons | Tagged | 2 Comments

Buttering up the judge

We recently came across this drawing by our hero Honoré Daumier (1808-1879) (whose desperate advocate we’ve appropriated in our masthead) that says everything you need to know about preparing for oral argument:  “Ai-je besoin d’éloquence devant un juge si haut … Continue reading

Posted in Judges, Law & Parody, Satirical cartoons | 3 Comments