Author Archives: Appellate Squawk

About Appellate Squawk

A satirical blog for criminal defense lawyers and their friends who won't give up without a squawk.

Police Commissioner announces new anti-spitting technology

Police Commissioner Hannibal Mugfur announced a monumental new technology today guaranteed to solve thousands of crimes, bring deviants to justice and make the City’s sidewalks cleaner. Unveiling a demonstration model of the SPITSUCKER-100™ before a delighted audience at Daffy Duck … Continue reading

Posted in Forensic "science", Law & Parody, Satirical cartoons | 2 Comments

“The War on Sex”

  As anyone knows who litigates SORA hearings, reason and a dime will get you a cup of coffee. The “research,” endorsed by the Supreme Court, showing that sex offenders have a “frighteningly high” rate of recidivism comes from a … Continue reading

Posted in Civil Liberties, Law, SORA | Tagged , | 2 Comments

Are you a cissy?

One of the many annoyances of being accused of a crime is having to put up with humiliating questions from your lawyer. Like, “Was your grandmother a drug addict?” “When was the last time you had sex?” or “Do you … Continue reading

Posted in Civil Liberties, Humor, Law & Parody, Satirical cartoons | 2 Comments

Powerpoint for the defense

Prosecutors see nothing wrong with summing up with Powerpoint like this: Well, two can play this game. Here are some handy graphics for defense summations:    

Posted in Criminal law, Humor, Law & Parody, Satirical cartoons | Tagged | 1 Comment

Prosecutor Powerpoint and Wigmore’s horse

Since prosecutors’ summations are basically commercials to sell the jury on a guilty verdict, it was only a matter of time before they started using advertising graphics. In People v. Santiago (2014), New York’s top court saw nothing wrong with the People’s … Continue reading

Posted in Criminal law, Law & Parody, Satirical cartoons | Tagged | 1 Comment

In memory of Dennis Murphy, public defender

Dennis Murphy passed away at home in his sleep on March 22, 2017, after several years of being progressively weakened by neurodegenerative illness.  He was Director of Training at the Legal Aid Society, where he overflowed with more ideas for … Continue reading

Posted in Law & Parody | Tagged | 5 Comments

When is a trial not a trial? When there’s no jury.

We recently briefed a case where the judge took the bench after the lunch break and announced, “The Court has arrived at a verdict.  The verdict is –,” until the parties frantically stopped her. The trial hadn’t finished yet!  She … Continue reading

Posted in Criminal law, Judges, Law & Parody, Satirical cartoons | Tagged | 2 Comments