Author Archives: Appellate Squawk

About Appellate Squawk

A satirical blog for criminal defense lawyers and their friends who won't give up without a squawk.

President Trump takes to the street

We donated a dollar and he blew us a kiss. P.S. Squawk has gone legit! See us in “The Crime Report,” the online zine of John Jay College of Criminal Justice.    

Posted in Humor, Law & Parody, Satire and parody | Tagged | Leave a comment

Squawk is interrogated

Lenny Bruce complained that cops would go to his show, write down every word of his routine and then read it aloud in the Grand Jury, completely ruining his lines. Although not remotely in the league of that great iconoclast, we … Continue reading

Posted in Civil Liberties, Humor, Satire and parody | 15 Comments

Privacy for me but not for thee

 Here we see NYPD Police Officer James Frascatore using the “straight arm bar takedown” on Mr. James Blake whom he mistook for a suspect in a credit card scam. Not only did he have the wrong man, Mr. Blake was … Continue reading

Posted in Civil Liberties, Criminal law | Tagged , | 1 Comment

Let’s remove offensive statues from Central Park

Inspired by a recent video of students pulling down, kicking and spitting on a statue of a Confederate soldier, we took a tour of inspection to similarly purge Central Park.  The first offender we came across was Alice in Wonderland: … Continue reading

Posted in Satire and parody | 5 Comments

When is parody a crime? When nobody gets it.

One of the most volatile controversies of our time is whether the Dead Sea Scrolls were written by the Essenes, an ascetic community living around 100 B.C.  Given the public’s strong feelings on the question, it was only a matter … Continue reading

Posted in Humor, Law & Parody | Tagged , , , | 3 Comments

Thoughtfully prosecuting your client

Recently received from our employer (we’re not making this up): “[Public Defender] urges and expects employees to report harassing and discriminatory behavior of third parties, including clients. . . . Rest assured that the response of [Public Defender] to clients who engage in … Continue reading

Posted in Criminal law, Humor, Law & Parody | 3 Comments

Law vs. Science

Exclusive Interview with the Hon. Judge Wool: Appellate Squawk: Judge, I understand you were a prominent member of the National Commission on Forensic Science asking some tough questions about the validity of these cop-created sciences. Judge Wool: I was, but … Continue reading

Posted in Forensic "science", Law & Parody | Tagged , | 7 Comments