Author Archives: Appellate Squawk

About Appellate Squawk

A satirical blog for criminal defense lawyers and their friends who won't give up without a squawk.

The ultimate bail reform: shoot the client

The injustices of the for-profit cash bail system are obvious. It jails people who’ve been accused — not convicted — of a crime, just because they can’t pay the often exorbitant fees set by judges. The billion-dollar bail bond industry … Continue reading

Posted in Law & Parody | Tagged , | 3 Comments

Relax, baby, I’m gay.

The Second Circuit has just held that it was wrong to fire a skydiving instructor for telling a customer he was gay.  Under Title VII of the federal law, a person can’t be “discharged because of a homophobic customer.”  Zarda v. … Continue reading

Posted in Law | Tagged | Leave a comment

Deadly meteor expected to demolish Earth any minute

Having a disproportionate effect on young black males.

Posted in Law & Parody | Leave a comment

Appellate Squawk’s Radiant Institute of Continuing Legal Education

Addition and Subtraction for Attorneys  Explore the mysteries of arithmetic in this empowering seminar guaranteed to improve your ability to calculate everything from billable hours to SORA points. Prerequisite: Introduction to Counting. How to Use Comas and Other Punctuation The nuts and … Continue reading

Posted in Humor, Law, Law & Parody, Satirical cartoons | Tagged | 8 Comments

ICE, ICE, baby!*

“It irritates me that a politician who has never held a badge and a gun, who doesn’t understand what we do every day, makes a decision of putting their own political careers ahead of the health and safety of a … Continue reading

Posted in Immigration, Law & Parody | Tagged , | 1 Comment

Punch & Judy’s easy answers to everything

Posted in Satire and parody, Satirical cartoons | 3 Comments

Trigger warnings for courtrooms

“We understand that even the thought of an individual coming to campus with the views that Mr. Shapiro [a twerpy  conservative political commentator] expresses can be concerning and even hurtful and that’s why we wanted to make you aware as … Continue reading

Posted in Criminal procedure, Law & Parody, Satire and parody | Tagged , , | 5 Comments