Author Archives: Appellate Squawk

About Appellate Squawk

A satirical blog for criminal defense lawyers and their friends who won't give up without a squawk.

The Sex Offender Bus

Last week the Guv issued a proposal to fix NYC’s crummy public transport by banning Level 3 sex offenders from using it.  This is apparently aimed at guys on crowded subways who can’t keep their hands and other appendages to themselves. Well, … Continue reading

Posted in Law & Parody, Satirical cartoons, SORA | Tagged , | 2 Comments

Head for the hills, discovery reform arrives with the New Year!

New Year 2020 is upon us, and we all know what that means: [chiller typeface] the new discovery laws take effect! “Discovery” is legal jargon for letting the accused know who’s accusing him-or-her of what. It means, if you remember … Continue reading

Posted in Law & Parody | Tagged , | 4 Comments

Annals of Social Injustice: Affluent People Drinking Rosé in Central Park

You have four felonies and a slew of misdemeanors under your belt. Being a New Yorker, it hasn’t escaped your attention that there are lots of cops in Times Square, not to mention a precinct house under a gigantic neon sign … Continue reading

Posted in Law & Parody | Tagged , , | 2 Comments

Is it silly to demand transparency from appellate courts?

We’re always grousing about how courts deny our appeals without reading our briefs, but a recent Supreme Court cert denial showed that’s a heap of ol’ catfish compared to what goes on in Louisiana. The scandal broke back in May, … Continue reading

Posted in Appellate advocacy, Criminal Defense Appeals, Criminal procedure, Judges, Law & Parody | Tagged , | 2 Comments

“Your question has nothing to do with this case, Judge.”

How many times have you sat through the judges’ introductory blabberation at oral argument about how you’d better make it snappy because “We’ve read your briefs” and “We actually do know the law” (dutiful laugh from the sycophants), only to … Continue reading

Posted in Appellate advocacy, Law & Parody, Satirical cartoons | Tagged | 3 Comments

Not your law office? Click here.

“Star Trek” is of course a metaphor for office life, where creatures from different galaxies have to tolerate one another to keep the spaceship going. Can you identify these species?:        

Posted in Humor, Law & Parody, Satirical cartoons | 2 Comments

Let’s keep dogs off the witness stand.

The news video in our office elevator, appropriately called “Captivate Network,”  recently announced that the San Francisco Airport has appointed a pig named LiLou as its official therapy animal. LiLou, who wears a tutu and plays a toy piano, is … Continue reading

Posted in Law & Parody, Satirical cartoons | Tagged | 6 Comments