If the wrath of the humorless is a satirist’s badge of honor, we’ve been awarded the equivalent of the Nobel Prize for our recent post “Are you a cissie?”
The post (trigger warning!) is a spoof of compulsory workplace “trainings” proselytizing the fashionable notion of gender issues über alles. Our point was that although genderism may be a harmless enough ideology for personal life, it’s intrusive, irrelevant and potentially offensive to foist it on people we’re supposed to be defending from criminal prosecution.
OMG, the cries of “Homophobic!” “Racist!” “Heavy hearts, anger and anguish!” “Resistance to the Truth!” that went up from a claque of goodthink colleagues. Grievances! Complaints! Running to Mommy Management! Of course we support free speech, they harrumph, but not when it offends us!
Apparently they skipped First Amendment in law school for fear of being traumatized. But if criticism of their beliefs makes them anguished and apoplectic, how in the (real) world do they function as lawyers?
Judge: The defendant Joe Blow is charged with burglary.
Defense Attorney: Harassment! Discrimination! My client is disproportionately overrepresented in the criminal justice system!
Prosecutor: You can say that again. He’s got eleven priors.
Attorney: How dare you put my client in the unfair and exhausting position of having to defend himself! You disgusting white supremacist! You – you- phobe!
Prosecutor: But I’m not white –
Judge: Um, counselor, I believe the People have already offered a conditional discharge and a program.
Joe Blow: I’ll take it.
Attorney: I’m telling on you to the Bar Association! I’m filing a Title VII complaint! You’re gonna get in trouble!
We shudder to think what their appellate briefs look like:
It is with a heavy heart, anger and anguish that appellant responds to the bigoted, ugly People’s denigration of my client as “guilty.” This belittling, demeaning label is deeply offensive to Mr. Blow who has expressly stated his preference for being called not guilty.
Yup, disagreement is harassment. Criticism is discrimination. Diversity is conformity. Newspeak is reality.