Category Archives: SORA

The Sex Offender Bus

Last week the Guv issued a proposal to fix NYC’s crummy public transport by banning Level 3 sex offenders from using it.  This is apparently aimed at guys on crowded subways who can’t keep their hands and other appendages to themselves. Well, … Continue reading

Posted in Law & Parody, Satirical cartoons, SORA | Tagged , | 2 Comments

The ban on “sex offender” art

“Leaving the artwork up could serve as a trigger for our students and staff who have been victims of child abuse and sexual assault. Since the display is at the campus main entrance where our students and staff are required … Continue reading

Posted in Civil Liberties, Satire and parody, SORA | 14 Comments

The Court of Appeals believes the victim (even when the jury doesn’t)

Comes now New York’s highest court with the holding that an accuser’s trial testimony constitutes clear and convincing evidence of the truth of her accusations, even though the jury found her not credible and acquitted the defendant of those charges.  In … Continue reading

Posted in Law, Law & Parody, Satirical cartoons, SORA | Tagged , | 10 Comments

“The War on Sex”

  As anyone knows who litigates SORA hearings, reason and a dime will get you a cup of coffee. The “research,” endorsed by the Supreme Court, showing that sex offenders have a “frighteningly high” rate of recidivism comes from a … Continue reading

Posted in Civil Liberties, Law, SORA | Tagged , | 2 Comments

The Court of Appeals rules on SORA

 

Posted in Civil Liberties, Law & Parody, Satirical cartoons, SORA | 3 Comments

Santa Claus is Level 3

Scene: SORA hearing in front of Judge Dudgeon Bludgeon. ADA Tightskirt: Judge, Mr. Claus should be adjudicated a Level 3 maximum risk sex offender. He’s a recidivist sexually motivated burglar. Santa Claus: (appearing pro se) Nonsense! I’ve never had any trouble … Continue reading

Posted in Criminal law, Humor, Law & Parody, Satirical cartoons, SORA | Tagged | 4 Comments

Homeland Security announces contest for best sex offender passport design

Last February Congress passed the “International Megan’s Law,” requiring registered sex offenders to have a conspicuous mark on their passports identifying them as such. A federal court summarily dismissed a lawsuit challenging the law, saying that, since the government has … Continue reading

Posted in Civil Liberties, Humor, Law, Law & Parody, Satirical cartoons, SORA | Tagged | 2 Comments

SORA: The human cost of junk science

  Of the nearly 40,000 persons on New York’s sex offender registry, 9,679 are displayed on its public website as Level 3, a warning that he or she presents the maximum risk of committing a sex crime of maximum seriousness. … Continue reading

Posted in Civil Liberties, Law, Law & Parody, SORA | Tagged , , , , | 10 Comments

Court of Appeals to Squawk: Drop Dead

Sigh. Another drop-dead letter from the NY Court of Appeals, the second one this week.  The first denied leave to appeal where our client got 107 years after a trial that he spent mostly down in the courthouse pens because … Continue reading

Posted in Criminal Defense Appeals, Criminal law, Judges, Law, SORA | Tagged , | 1 Comment

Happy 20th Birthday, SORA, may you die soon.

Friends, New Yorkers, Countrypersons! Lend us your ears! We come not to praise SORA but to bury it. For the courts say its purpose is not to punish, but to protect public safety. And courts are honorable persons, otherwise they … Continue reading

Posted in Civil Liberties, Law, SORA | Tagged | 10 Comments

Study finds most legal work too complex for robots

According to a new study entitled “Can Robots Be Lawyers?”  the answer is no, because legal work involves talking to your client and going to court. The study refers to this as “unstructured human interaction,” which is putting it mildly. … Continue reading

Posted in Criminal Defense Appeals, Humor, Law, Law & Parody, SORA | Tagged | 4 Comments

The “science” of sex offender risk prediction

 Every day, Mr. X, age 81, travels two and a half hours by bus and subway from the shelter where he lives to visit his 84-year old disabled wife. She still lives in the apartment they shared for decades until … Continue reading

Posted in Humor, Judges, Law, Law & Parody, Satirical cartoons, SORA | Tagged , , , , | 1 Comment

A prison by any other name would smell as sweet

This season’s  “you-can’t-make-this-stuff-up” award goes to the NY State Department of Hoosegows and Parole for refusing to let parolees return to their families and then keeping them in prison past their release date because they lack an approved residence. “They’re … Continue reading

Posted in Civil Liberties, Humor, Law & Parody, Satirical cartoons, SORA | Tagged , , , | 5 Comments

The Court of Appeals gets righteous

The Sex Offender Registration Act (SORA), like the Emperor’s New Clothes, is nonsense perpetrated in the name of superior wisdom. It creates a permanent underclass of “sex offenders,” defined as anyone convicted of an offense from a list that includes … Continue reading

Posted in Civil Liberties, Satirical cartoons, SORA | Tagged , , , , | 2 Comments

SORNA: Buy it first, then ask if it works.

A friend recently received the following chirpy email from the National Institute of Justice.  We’re not making this up: “NIJ CHALLENGE: COST-BENEFIT OF SEX OFFENDER REGISTRATION LAW “Are you up for the challenge? Enter NIJ’s first-ever SORNA Challenge! NIJ is … Continue reading

Posted in Civil Liberties, Law & Parody, Satirical cartoons, SORA | Tagged , | 6 Comments

Sexperts in court: Part 2

Criminal defense is nerve-racking enough, what with having to prove your client’s innocence beyond a shadow of a doubt.  Even worse if your client is a “sex offender” where you have to prove he’s innocent of crimes that haven’t happened yet. Of course people aren’t punished for … Continue reading

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Virtual porn: the court knows it when it sees it

Recently Judge Loose Stone of Manhattan had to decide whether the subjects of alleged child porn were minors and whether the images were real or virtual.  He held a private viewing in camera explaining that he was adopting “the U.S. … Continue reading

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Squawk is famous!

Appellate Squawk is bursting with pride to announce that we’ve been awarded Honorable Mention in the contest for best Criminal Defense Blawg of 2011 by the venerable, prestigious blog Simple Justice. We haven’t experienced such gratifying recognition since Judge Cruella … Continue reading

Posted in Criminal law, Law & Parody, SORA | 5 Comments

NY State Assembly passes “Herod’s Law”

In a whirlwind session in Albany today, the Assembly celebrated the holiday season by pushing through an innovative new bill called “Herod’s Law.” “This is the biggest gift anyone could give to public safety,” enthused Assemblyman Foop, co-sponsor of the … Continue reading

Posted in Civil Liberties, Law & Parody, SORA | Tagged , | 4 Comments

The naughty/nice hearings

Scene: The Santa Clause Courtroom, Santa, J. presiding. For the defense: Dasher, Dancer, Prancer, Vixen. For the prosecution: Comet, Cupid, Donner, Blixen. Clerk: Number 2, 457, 278,970 on the calendar, Stinky K.  Santa: This is a determination as to whether Stinky K. … Continue reading

Posted in Law & Parody, SORA | Tagged , | 4 Comments